discipling

Always Rain

9:21 AM

"But there's always rain."

When I lived in San Angelo I remember distinctly one year seeing signs everywhere that said, "Pray For Rain." It doesn't rain very often in San Angelo in general but this year was particularly bad. Everything was so dry. We went months upon months without it and people were even talking about moving because the water supply was so low. These people are also the young people who sat at Mr. T's, hung over on a Saturday morning, discussing their raving pool party plans for later that afternoon. So, I didn't take them too seriously but it was still a weird thing to hear people talk about. Moving because there was no water. It was crazy.

And then it would rain.




Not always the amount we wanted it to but always just enough. Instead of a down pour that lasted an entire day it would rain for an hour in the evening. Usually after someone decided to wash their car. And you'd find people updating their Facebook status' or taking pictures with super cool filters on Instagram because they wanted to remember that moment. They thought it would never come again so they needed to remember. Months would go by again and I would see the signs outside of the restaurants or tacked up on the Scherz Landscape sign because those guys really did need it to rain. Business was probably terrible during those long months of drought. "Pray For Rain" was everywhere I looked.

There are so many things that make it hard for me to sleep anymore. So many things I want and so many things I find myself saying, "God, we need this" into an empty living room while Kaleb is at work and Elijah is napping. Sometimes it's materialisitc like a house (because apartment life with a rowdy two year old is a cruel form of torture). Sometimes it's healing my heart for the ones that aren't with us anymore. Sometimes it's victory over fear (this fearless journey is getting so hard). It's even for things like broken relationships.

"God, we need this. God, I need this. God, I'm not moving from this spot until it rains, until You rain."

I woke up this morning and as clear as the sound of the rain outside I heard Him say,

"But there's always rain." 

There is always rain.

I don't know what healing you're looking for or what thing you feel you need but I do know that there is always rain. Sometimes it doesn't feel like quite enough, I know that. I feel like I'm the queen of discontent most days. I'm sure that's why God spoke that sentence so loudly to me this morning, because I'm so discontent right now. But I do know that one hour of His outpouring measures out my heart well. I know that in between the months of waiting for those things you're praying for, it feels like you're not going to make it. You will. When Satan feeds you the lie that God is never going to answer that prayer or that He is not coming to your rescue just remember

"But there's always rain."





"Oh I believe, I believe
I see the cloud and Oh the rain is coming
Oh the rain is coming

Oh revival, revival rain
Oh I see the clouds
It's coming, it's coming

I believe, I believe Jesus You're mighty to save
And I believe You pour out Your Spirit upon all, Please God
I believe, I believe, I believe You're pouring down
Oh it's gonna rain. It's gonna rain. I believe.

-Jesus Culture

Kaleb

Marriage Encounter (expectations)

6:35 PM

In 3 weeks Kaleb and I will be attending our first marriage conference. I'm not even sure if that's what it's really called. Conference, retreat? I'm not sure. AG Marriage Encounter will be in Dallas April 24-26 and we're going!!! I heard about it from a friend of mine who said many couples I know have went to it and had nothing but good things to say about it. We actually registered way back in January. There's only 40 spots so they fill up quite quickly and I didn't want to miss out. I don't know much about this conference except that it's suppose to give you an even better marriage than you already have. I don't know if they do small break out sessions or if you're in a big room with all of the other attendees the whole time. I don't know if you spend a lot of time alone with your spouse or if you have a lot of free time for discussions with other people. What I do know is Kaleb and I need this.


We have a really good marriage in my opinion. Nothing traumatic or major has tainted our unity except parenthood. Ok...having a baby didn't taint it but it sure made it hard. We didn't spend much time married before we got pregnant. We don't know what it's like to just be with each other. I think we missed out on a lot of growing together because we spent the first 11.5 months of our marriage preparing for a baby. I treasure that time because we had to get tough really fast. No sleep, living off coffee and Jesus during the wee hours of the morning, learning to quietly argue because the baby was sleeping, and learning that we have to nurture this marriage hard core if we want to be better followers of Christ, parents, and of course spouses. 

A whole weekend with Kaleb in a hotel room? It's like our honeymoon all over again! Plus learning how to make our marriage even better than it already is? Yep. I'm excited! 

I love walking into things like this with a heart of expectancy. I expect the Lord to work hard on us individually, pointing us towards the mirror before we even think of pointing fingers at one another. And then gently lead us into better communication over those "constant fights." That's what I call the arguments that seem to never end. The ones that you feel like you keep having, resolving nothing. Yea, we all have them. I know we're not the only ones. But most of all I expect to connect deeper. That sounds so cliche but like I said above we never really had the chance to just be married. We missed out on a lot of those middle of the night conversations and prayers over our life together and heart cries. We've had them for sure but not nearly at the level of connecting that I'm sure couples who had a few years of marriage without children probably did. We missed out on vacations together and road trips over the weekend. So, in one weekend completely devoted to our God and our marriage I'm expecting big things.

I can't wait to see how reality matches up with my expectations. 

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