The Hargrove Home

I'm walking into the unknown and it's scary. Grace laden, this road is still scary. With each new milestone Elijah has my anxiety spikes. I keep thinking the next time his head smacks the ground he won't get right back up and laugh, he'll cry this time. He rarely does. He's strong. I wish I was as strong as him or as carefree.

There are so many things I want to do in life. I want to travel to India and adopt a little girl. I want to sip coffee outside a sweet cafe in France. I want to get so caught up playing outside with my family that even the rain doesn't make us go inside. I want to sing on stage again and really let my voice soar to Heaven. I want to learn how to play the guitar and the piano. I want to read the entire Bible but not set a time limit to it. I want to re live my honeymoon with Kaleb. I want to tell college students about Jesus right in the middle of a secular campus. I want to meet a single mom and clean her house just so she can see the love of Christ. But above most everything I want a life long friend. Don't misunderstand me here-I have lots of close friends. TONS! Some of the most amazing women I've ever met. But I don't have that one friend who needs me as much as I need her. Maybe this sounds…ridiculous? But I think as women, if we're dead honest, we know how this feels. If you have that friend you know how important her friendship is and if you don't you long for it.

So many things, so little time….right?

Not for this.

I struggle with friendships. I really do. They're tough and messy. They're encouraging and painful. They're needed yet widely unwanted most days. My absolute favorite thing is to sit in my living room with a cup of coffee (or hot tea) and chat with a friend for hours. I love the feeling of catching up with a friend you haven't seen in a while. You have months worth of things to tell them and you're both stumbling over your words to make sure you tell them everything before your limited time is up. Even better, I love catching up with someone you just saw a week or two ago. The catching up doesn't take very long and then you get to move on to true fellowship. Discussing Jesus' goodness, what verse has been stuck in your heart lately, the sweet thing your husband did yesterday, the crazy thing your kids did after dinner, etc.

Needed. Messy. Encouraging.
All of the above.

Being a stay at home mom has really shown me a lot about friendships. Weird, but not surprising. When I don't have the access to a campus or a classroom how do I find the friendships I long for? It was so easy when I was a childless, unmarried, student. I could walk into the library and meet 4 new people before I ever had a chance to sit down and study. It was so easy that I took it for granted. Now that I'm busy, married, and have a baby I see how hard it is to be intentional. I don't want to bother the other busy moms but I feel like I will bore my single or even newly wed friends. There's this reoccurring dream I keep having. It looks a lot like this-

Single women, married women, new moms, moms with lots of kids, and even empty nesters…all gathered in someones back yard…drinking sweet tea and laughing while children play near by…vulnerability is laid out on the table and someone cries….which leads us all to tears as she shares her heart….someone stands up and moves to her…laying hands on her, we all get up and mirror her move…we're laying hands and praying…we're crying and laughing….community.

This kind of reminds me of what life groups look like except with all ages and lots of kids. That life long friend I want so badly doesn't mean I'll find them now. I keep thinking I'm running out of time but not all of us are as lucky as my sister, Charlotte, who found her best friend when she was in 7th grade and now almost 15 years later they're still going strong. I hope that in this time I can learn what it means to be a true friend. I want to be humbling and remember that friendships have seasons. I want to fight past the stinging cold and hold on until the end.

I guess I want all of things.

8 months, y'all! I'll get straight to it-

• Haven't been to the doctor lately so I assume his heighth and weight are the same
• Eats everything except for eggs, honey, and sweets
• Favorite food: pasta 
• Wearing 9m-12m clothes
• Yells "ba-ba-ba-ba" all day long
• Learning to say dada and mama but not quite there yet
• Crawls
• Sit's up by himself
• Reaches up but doesn't pull himself up yet
• Pushes up on everything
• Very mischevious
• Still cloth diapered part time but just a few dipes away from being full time
• Breastfeeds every 3-4 hours now
• Now has 7 teeth
• Still gets his Nexium (acid reflux medicine) every morning
• Down to 2 night feedings

Elijah just recently got over his first ear infection, a double ear infection at that. It was honestly hard to deal with for 2-3 days (partly because he was cutting 2 more teeth) and then he seemed like he never had anything wrong with him. Now I just hope it stays gone. No more sickie, please! He gets to attend his first birthday party this Friday! Our sweet friends youngest daughter is turning one! How fun! And since that will be the last time we travel for the next month or longer we will be starting CIO again that night. Praying we don't completely mess it up this time by going out of town or giving in to old habits. He went down to 2 night feedings all by himself so I think this transition will be a lot smoother than it was 2 months ago. Before we move to Fort Worth I want to have him completely sleeping in his crib for bed time and nap times WITHOUT crying. 

These next couple of months will bring so much excitement and change for our family. In April, I'll turn 23 (and my parents and sister are coming up for my birthday weekend), Elijah will have his first Easter, the JBF sale will be in town, AND my in laws are throwing their annual crawfish cook out/broil. I'm not sure which one it is. Sorry, Michell and Kirk! At the end of May we will be taking a trip to Fort Worth to look at houses that are for rent. We've discussed buying a house since we know that we will be in FW for quite a while but we don't want to rush a decision that big so for now we'll be renting a house. Then, of course, in June we will be moving. Oh! How could I forget? Our sweet friends Caleb and Kaitlin are getting married in June and they asked us if Elijah could be their ring bearer. My baby in a wedding?! Uh, DUH! I'm so excited! It's going to be a beautiful wedding and the fact that both of my handsome guys are in it (Kaleb's a groomsmen) just makes me more excited.

Do you ever feel frozen when you begin to think about your to-do list? Especially if a move is involved? I've never made a move this big. Even when I moved from Fort Worth to San Angelo I was only moving into a dorm so all of my stuff fit into the back of my dad's truck. This is so different! We're moving our entire 3 bdrm/2bth apartment 4 hours away. *sigh* The amount of organization this move will require is ridiculous. I can't toss all of our clothes that hang in the closet in the backseat of our car and drive down the street to our new home. Nope! I actually have to pack up every. single. thing. Oy. Still, the move is 4 months away so I don't have to start packing just yet.

Does anyone have any good moving tips? Organizing your boxes, different ways to pack, easier routes to take instead of just boxes….? Anything will help!