The Hargrove Home

The week before Christmas we went on an awesome trip to Mississippi to visit my father in law's side. We have all been trying to go at the same time since Kaleb and I got married (4.5 years ago) but our schedules never matched up or we just didn't have it in our budget. So, since I knew this might not happen again for a while I proposed we do family pictures. Also, I'm still working on my portfolio so any chance I get to snap some shots I'm all about it! I loved being at Kaleb's grandma's house. It was smack dab in the middle of the sticks...literally. The pictures I took were just a few feet from her actual house and the entire area was just gorgeous. I hope we can take pictures again there for years and years to come.

I posted a little snippet on Instagram/Facebook of my sister showing up on Sunday but I wanted to go into more detail for this post so you could really know how good and sweet God is just by the sister He gave me. After we moved all of our stuff into storage in Dallas we stopped for a quick bite to eat before we headed to my mom's house ( a little over an hour away). My sister called me right when Elijah was acting up at the restaurant so I was distracted and really short with her. I felt bad after we hung up knowing that she was just trying to be cheerful for me. It's this season, y'all. It's got me thirty different kinds of cray. About ten minutes after we arrived at my moms I heard the front door open and there was Charlotte. She walked in and told me she thought she would come cheer me up on a stressful day. She hugged me and of course I cried and didn't let go of her for quite a while. It was already 5pm so I knew she could only stay a couple of hours before she had to make the trip back home since she had to work the next day. But she came any way. She came for me. And like she does with Elijah, she brought Abigail a little gift for her one day nursery. We didn't do anything special. We played many rounds of Hangman on the chalkboard she just bought for me and talked about how this year is her year of Promise.

I really didn't deserve her kindness after the way I acted on the phone but she can always see right through me. She didn't take it personally and she just loved me through it and I love her so much for that.

That's Jesus.

I've never walked such a hard road in the (almost) 6 years I've been saved than I have in these last 6 months. Death can really take a toll on you and your faith. My grandmother, my miscarriage, and then my dad. It's all too much heartache at one time to even bare most days. In my quest of "why" I've found that I just wanted to walk away from this whole thing. Salvation, Jesus, God, church, Christianity....all of it. I just wanted out. If this was what was going to happen, God would take people from me...then I wanted out. That's what I've thought these last two weeks more than ever. I just. Want. Out. I could scream it to the top of my lungs and probably still not believe it though. I don't walk this road with the Lord because it's easy or comfortable. It's the exact opposite. C.S. Lewis said "I didn't go to religion to make me 'happy'. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don't recommend Christianity." Nothing ever really shook my faith before this. I've honestly stood on solid ground through the entirety of these last 6 years. Even with minor hurt and questions and seasons, I've just stood on solid ground. So, when the ground started breaking beneath me I thought about running. It would feel better to run than it would to stand here while it shakes.

But I can't walk away. I never could and I never will. That doesn't speak on what an amazing Christian I am or how big my faith is. It speaks on how amazing my God is and how He is ALWAYS faithful even when I'm faithless. There was a time when I lived without God and it was the worst time of my life. And still while I ignored Him and turned my back on His face, He relentlessly pursued me. He didn't stop because I made it hard. He kept on pushing and whispering and loving me. He didn't give up and I can't give up now. Because even while this whole ordeal hurts like hell I've still never known peace like this. A peace that flows in and out of my soul even in the midst of pain. I still have hope. I still have a Kingdom I'll be in one day where I will have the most beautiful reunion with my dad and we will hold hands while we worship the Father who so selflessly gave His son for us so that we could be right there in that moment together. And that son who could have walked away just as easily as I could, shed his blood to make a way for me, for my dad, for my husband, and for my children.



Grief and mourning aren't necessarily new to me but losing a parent takes on a whole new form. It's weird and tricky. Even after you're married and start a family of your own, you still lost someone who you saw day in and day out for so many years. Majority of those years were spent in attitude and teen angst; disliking all of the times he said no and begging him to say yes. Never understanding that he was trying to protect me. And without God we wouldn't have been able to restore our relationship. I wouldn't have been able to experience a father/daughter relationship the way it was meant to be if He hadn't wrecked me and gave me new life. While I will never understand why that exact moment was the time the Lord chose to call my dad Home, I am so thankful that He called him to a Home that I will one day share with him. I am thankful for 5 years of restoration. I am thankful he walked me down the aisle and gave me away to another man who now protects me. I am thankful he spent 2 years loving his first grand baby. I am thankful he loved my mom and gave me Charlotte as a sister when she was just 4 years old. I am thankful he always helped me move to a new apartment even though he was tired and his body was weak. I am thankful for small moments spent out in the garage together just talking about nothing and everything. I am thankful for the time and space he allowed me to have when I went away to college. I am thankful for the countless years he loved me even when I was rebellious and wild. I am thankful he never gave up on me.



He spent more years wrapped in addiction than he did walking with the Lord but the biggest picture I see is the VICTORY his story tells. His testimony colors the picture of perseverance so perfectly. It shows that he struggled and sinned but that God can change any life, at any age, and at any season.  His story reminds me why I can't give up and walk away. My dad's life will be a reminder always of the purpose the pain has. The Lord loves my dad so much that He saw his broken body and chose to take him to a place where his body is whole and his pain is completely wiped away. He gives and takes away and while he takes away He still remains good and He still remains God.

There are so many cool things to do in Fort Worth especially in the summer. Last year at this time we had just moved so we were getting to know the town and figure out some cheap/free family things to do. There weren't many options mainly because Elijah was just one. He turns two next month and it's crazy what a difference a year makes. We have so many more options that have opened up for us to do as a family this summer. Stuff we know he will enjoy as well as activities that we can do as a family but will be more fun than stressful (can I get an amen, toddler parents?). I've tried to provide as many links as possible so if you're in this area you can try them out as well! If you'll notice there is a small trend with most of them. Hint: It's going to be hot in Texas, y'all.

• Bicentennial Splash Pad
• Sycamore Spray Ground
• Burger's Lake
• Fort Worth Zoo (For an extra $5 you can enjoy their splash pad before or after your zoo trip and Wednesdays are half price admission)
• Panther Fest (The Slide is already sold out but there are a ton of other things to do their. So fun!)
• Pirates Cove
• NRH2O (This one and the above can get a bit pricey so we will probably only go once or twice this summer to each)
• Rockport (Kaleb's add to the list)
• Enchanted Rock (Kaleb's add-he says he'll wear Elijah the whole time. Ha! We'll see how that goes)
• Coyote Drive-In
• Fort Worth Children's Museum
• Trips to Kerrville
• Lots of park play
• Find some lightening bugs and catch them in a jar
• Family Drop-in
• Feed the ducks at the pond
• Go for lots of family walks in the evenings
• Teach E to ride a tricycle
• Take E to Build-A-Bear
• Movie nights in Sundance Square
• Celebration of Freedom
• Visit Clearfork Food Park
• Movies in the park
• Little Sprouts
• Forest Park Miniature Railroad