The Hargrove Home

The tough season rolls on

7:07 PM

I'm sitting by myself in my living room right now writing this post. Do you know how long it's been since I sat by myself? Elijah is asleep and Kaleb had to go back to work to refill some machine (Whatever SAMS club) and so here I sit with my thoughts and my blog. I can't really gather my thoughts in all honesty. They're just a jumble of words floating at the surface of the water kinda like my family. Kaleb is searching for a second job….again. I thought we were out of this season but we're not. We can't seem to get ahead. Kaleb's hours are so wonky lately. One week he'll work 4-5 days straight and the next he'll have 2 days scattered in a week. That's not enough. We haven't paid on our student loans in 6 months, we have every day bills/expenses, and now we have to get our emergency break fixed so that we can get our inspection passed and pay off the ticket we got for having it expired in the first place. Which brings us to the conclusion that he has to get a second job. Something part time, a 2-3 day a week kinda gig. So, if you're reading this and you know of somewhere that is hiring then please let us know. Anyway…Kaleb. *sigh* It's hard to watch your husband go through this. Quitting jobs only to get better ones then quitting those ones and looking for new ones to finally getting a great job where he's working his way up only to having to find a second job. I'm at a loss. We agreed from the beginning that I would stay home with Elijah. Daycare isn't an option for us so here I sit typing a blog while he's at work again. My heart aches for him but this is scripture being lived out the way God said it would be.

"...through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life…"

He's a hardworking husband doing everything he can to provide in such a way that I can stay home with Elijah. It's truly admirable. I just love him.

But I want to feel like we're on stable ground again. I miss that feeling. But where would my faith be if it wasn't shaken from time to time? It would be easy and God did not call us to live an easy life. Taking up the cross is a daily thing and surrendering the things that are out of my control is almost an hourly thing. I'm clinging to something He said to me at a Wednesday night service a few months back-This is our testimony and through this we will be able to reach and help the way so many of our friends have reached out and helped us. So as it all piles on tonight and I really feel the weight from this tough season I remember that even now He is STILL good and that this, too, shall pass.

One day the dawn will break over this season but for now He's growing us and rooting our faith. He's a good God.

Elijah

Elijah:6 months!

9:40 AM

Half a year has come and gone. Half of an entire year! My guy is 6 whole months. Ok, sorry. I'm done. The shock is still overwhelming. Here we gooooooo-

He is 19 lbs even (75th percentile)
He is 26.5 inches long (45th percentile)
He has 4 teeth (all on the bottom)
He still doesn't crawl but he does roll around and push himself forward with his feet to get around. I call this inch worming across the floor.
He can sit up independently for a few minutes before leaning over and falling
His personality is definitely developing
He laughs and gets excited when seeing Kaleb or myself
He is more cautious of strange faces
He has discovered his voice and loves to yell
He has discovered his feet finally (that's what happens when you're fat;]) and tries to chew his toes
He has started eating solid foods (fruits and vegetables)
His sleep is still pretty awful (more about that below)
He still nurses every 2 hours like the piglet he is
I have started putting him in the nursery at church on Sunday mornings

It's crazy to think Elijah ever had a feeding problem at the beginning. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. He's such a chunkster and I love it! Not just because it's so adorable but because I know he's healthy. He's not overweight in any way he just loves his mama's milk and I definitely love nursing him. I thought at as he got older it would just be so natural that I wouldn't think much about it in terms of bonding but I do. The bond just grows as he gets older and I continue to nurse him. I know this is weird for some of you to read (sorry) but it's a very big deal to me. Elijah and I have come far since those first few weeks after he was born. He has experienced a lot within this last month. A ton of firsts! Too many for this mama's liking. He had his first move, attended his first wedding, had his first Christmas and New Year, grew in not just one but FOUR teeth, and we started him on BLW. BLW (Baby Led Weaning) is mostly just taking out the puree's and jars of baby food and replacing it with a hands on experience. So far Elijah has had green beans, bananas, avocados, and peach flavored yogurt. Mostly during this experience he just plays with his food until we put it in his mesh feeder but it's the learning process that I love most about BLW. Watching him smash his food and then realize he can eat it from his hands is quite entertaining.

Ok. Now on to the biggest thing. We have started sleep training Elijah within these last couple of weeks. This last month and a half Kaleb and I have not slept for more than 2 hours at a time. I have no idea what happened but my baby who would sleep at least a 5 hour stretch at the beginning turned into this kid who refused to sleep. He will not fall asleep unless one of us is holding him (usually me) and will then wake up almost instantly if we lay him down in his crib so we resorted to co sleeping for a few weeks but both of us got fed up pretty quickly with that. So we started teaching him to sleep in his crib. Some nights are easier than others but over all he is still waking every 2 hours and won't go back to sleep unless I nurse him. Well, if you're a parent you can definitely understand what a toll this has been taking on us. Especially me since I stay at home with him. Kaleb and I are pro CIO (the sleep method called Cry It Out) but have never done it because we were waiting to see what his pediatrician thought. Yesterday we got the go ahead from her. We talked about his weight and how he can definitely go at least 5 hours at night without nursing since he is on the high end of the scale for weight and we also discussed the plain and simple fact that Elijah has to learn how to go to sleep on his own instead of constantly being put to sleep by us. I cried in front of our pediatrician when she told us we could go ahead try CIO. That is how much of a toll this sleep situation has taken on me. I realize that some of you reading this are completely against CIO and that's ok! That's the beauty of parenting. There are so many different opinions and thoughts on these things but if there's one thing I've learned over these last 6 months it's this-Do what works for you! Co sleeping wasn't working for us but CIO might so we're moving forward and tomorrow night we will put this method into effect and see how it works for our family. It might be a total bust or it might finally give us the sleep we've been lacking this last month and a half. Either way I ask you to please lift up my family in prayer as we try and discover how to help Elijah sleep better.

Bre

2014: Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.

2:16 PM

2013 is coming to a close and it is bittersweet. This year has been good to my family and tough at the same time. Obviously, our biggest blessing we received this year was when our newest addition entered the world on July 12th. I think it's safe to say Kaleb and I have known dark days (my first few weeks of postpartum were a little scary) and some blindingly bright ones. Overall, it has been a stressful year with moves, job transitions, and financial problems but God has asked us to cling to Him and cling we have. There were many times rent shouldn't have been paid and groceries shouldn't have been in our fridge but He always provided. Somehow, some way we were never left empty handed.

Can I be honest? That's always a scary question but I think you will all be more than understanding. This year I barely sought out God's face. I read…every now and then. I prayed…every now and then. But like I've said before I felt as if I was crawling from week to week. Barely getting by with the minimal effort I was giving to my spiritual life. I would let Monday night and Sunday morning services fill me up just enough to get me to life group on Wednesday night so I could pour out over my girls. I would have nothing left to give my husband or, let alone, myself. It's scary to think I was ever a leader in Chi Alpha because this is how I made it through the year. People would pour into me and I would pour out to my life group and that was it. There was no real substance, no meat to chew, nothing nourishing. Just milk. Hm..Milk. Like what my baby drinks. My milk will only sustain Elijah for so long before he will NEED solid food. Oh, the comparison God can bring to light through a child. Kid's preach, folks. They really do. I'm sure you can make the connection. Once Elijah was born I could no longer sit in a service on Sunday mornings or Monday nights to help me make it through the week. That was when God really started showing me that something needed to change. I texted this to Kaleb the other day-"I feel like my soul is dying. I know that sounds dramatic but I feel like I can't breathe in this life. I need more. More God." And I do. I NEED more.

So, in 2014 I am not making any resolutions, I am making changes. Slowly but surely. Kaleb and I had a sweet conversation last night where we picked out routines, plans, times, etc for our quiet times (though with a baby they're not very quiet ;]). That's my change. That's what I'm going into 2014 with. I'm not going to throw my hands up and pretend I'll find time. I want to make time and intentionally go there to meet Him. I'm not making a resolution to be a better wife, a better mom, or a better friend. I'm making a change to be a better bride to my Jesus because then everything will fall into place. I've seen firsthand how sweet my life is when I'm earnestly seeking God's face, not just every now and then. Kaleb and I are stepping back from things and embracing others. Making time to grow together in our marriage and in our parental roles rather than pouring into others until we're dry. There's a season for everything under heaven and this is our season to soak it all in. If you're reading this-pray for us! Pray for our 2014 and we'll pray for yours.

Side note: I do want to write more, take more pictures and videos, and spend more time with my family outside of our home as well as spend time with our friends in 2014. Let's do this!

Elijah

Elijah:5 months!

3:48 PM

5 whole stinkin months! I can't believe this! These blog updates are being written way too soon for this mama's liking.

-At 5 months Elijah weighs 17lbs 11oz

-He's 26 in long

-He's very mobile! I can't leave the room for very long or I won't be able to find him!

-He hasn't sat up on his own but with our help he sits up independently for about 30 seconds

-My EBF little guy still wakes every 2-3 hours at night

-He sleeps and naps in his pack n play more independently now

-He is discovering how much he likes toys

-He sits in his walker and watches mama clean

-We are still cloth diapering every now and then but are still working on building up our stash

-Finally laughing a lot!

-Makes lots of new interesting sounds. He likes the sound of his voice for sure

-He is in 6-9 month clothes

-He likes to touch our faces and grab anything in our hands

-He is definitely interested in food though we haven't started him on solids yet

This month is INSANE. Elijah will have his first Christmas, he will attend his first wedding, have his first move, and will be in his own room soon. We move into our new apartment next week and will then start letting Elijah sleep in his own room. I'm not so much nervous as I am frustrated. Since he wakes up so many times during the night I am going to have to make many trips across the hall to nurse him and get him back to sleep. Whereas now I would just have to sit up in bed, nurse him, and put him back in his pack n play. But I am excited to get more sleep in the mornings. He likes to wake up around 7am and start playing and chatting in his pack n play so needless to say Kaleb and I will be able to rest easier in the mornings with him in his own room. Also happening in the new apartment will be his first Christmas! Both families are coming on Christmas Eve to have dinner and open presents. I can't wait to see how a 5 month old does with presents. It should definitely be fun. It's true what they say-holidays are so much fun when you have children!

Bre

Updates, y'all!

8:21 PM

Well for starters I FINALLY got a new RSS reader. I say finally because Google shut down their reader in July and it is now December. Yep, FINALLY have a place to read all of the blogs I follow. If you're reading this and you blog, leave a comment telling me the name of yours so I can follow it. The RSS reader I'm using now is Feedly. I'm pretty much in love with it. It lets me organize the blogs I follow but putting them into certain categories. Love!

Anyway, well the time has come to move again. We found out last week that they are raising the rent at our apartment complex when our lease is up (Dec. 20th). They're raising it by almost $100. Um, no! There aren't even lights in the bedrooms. Not kidding! There are no ceiling fans/lights at all in either bedroom so in my opinion they're really pushing it already with what we pay now let alone raising the rent. So, needless to say, we're moving yet AGAIN. This will be my 5th move in the last 3 years. Absolutely insane! But the apartment we found is perfect for our finances and our family of 3. God is good, folks. So very good. I am going crazy though because we move-in 3 days before Christmas Eve which is at our place this year. Since it's Elijah's first Christmas we invited both families to our place. And to top it off Kaleb and I are both in a wedding the day before we move-in. Oh. Em. Gee. I kind of can't breathe if I think about all of it too much.

This will be life this month:
-Plan out the food for Whitney's lingerie shower (married ladies only)
-Plan decorations and food for Whitney's bachelorette party
-Pack up apartment/purge things
-Get the rest of Elijah's Christmas presents
-Get food for Christmas Eve dinner
-MOVE!
-Set up new apt + Christmas decor
-Get ready for rehearsal dinner and wedding. YAY Mason and Whitney
-Get Elijah's picture taken with Santa at the mall (that should be interesting)

^^I think somewhere in there I should add rest/breathe/eat. Ha! This is one busy month but I'm so excited for Mason and Whitney's wedding, our new place, AND Christmas time.

Also, Elijah turns 5 months in 9 days. *cue the tears*

Chi Alpha

Chi Alpha family tree

1:11 PM

From back to front: Kylah Kotze, Mindy Murphy, Shawna Whitney, Ashlee Miller, Bre Hargrove, and Whitney Holder (soon to be Whitney Pierce next month)

This is my beautiful Chi Alpha family tree. For those of you who are not versed in the Chi Alpha language this family tree is of leaders who put the person standing in front of them through leadership training. Starting at Kylah and ending (but not ending indefinitely) with Whitney.

2 years ago at SLA, a leadership conference, I first heard of the term "family tree." Eli Gautreaux, the pastor of SHSU Chi Alpha, introduced this term along with a picture during the conference. The picture was similar to this one. Eli told us the names, occupations, and even the year they served in XA. All of them in some form or fashion was still serving the Lord. I'm proud to say that all of these women myself included are doing the same. Whether it's in Chi Alpha, our church, their job, or within their family they are serving Jesus. We are all still fighting the good the fight and discipling other women.

The same time I found out who was the start of my family tree I actually joined her life group within our church here in San Angelo. Pretty neat! Kylah and her husband Michael were leading a young married life group right after Kaleb and I had got married. It's fun to see how we all have connected with each other at least once since becoming leaders in Chi Alpha.

I can't speak for all of these lovely ladies but I have personally been touched by each of them. Whether it's through learning how to navigate mamahood or just sharing life with each other I have grown in some way through conversations with each of them. I might be biased but this family tree is my all time favorite! ;]

Also, I think it's pretty cool that we're all married now. Including Whitney who will be getting married next month! Yay! =]

Elijah

Elijah:4 months!

11:15 AM

Wasn't I just writing Elijah's 3 month blog yesterday? Where have these last 4 months gone?! I checked under the couch, the coffee table, the beds, and even in the dishwasher and I cannot find these last 4 months anywhere. We've hit winter already. When did that happen? Wasn't it just July? Goodness. I've got to slow down. I feel like I'm completely missing out on Elijah's baby stage. I need to rest and breathe this season in more before it's gone forever. Time for some updates

16lbs 2oz (65th percentile)
25 inches long (40th percentile)
He's obviously a fat shortie :)
He slept for 6.5 hours last night! Longest he's ever slept.
He's learning to scoot/rotate when he's on his tummy
He does "baby push-ups" where he pushes up on his hands now
He is in 6m clothes
We have began cloth diapering and he loves it! I'm trying desperately to build up our stash
He is still EBF (exclusively breastfed)
The medicine he's on for his acid reflux is helping TREMENDOUSLY
Still learning to laugh but giggles constantly
He sleeps and naps in his cradle now

Elijah's first Halloween was a success. We dressed him as a crab and he slept through most of it. I'm sure next year he'll be running all over the place. Kaleb and I are now anxiously waiting for his first Thanksgiving and Christmas. So excited! The day he turned 4 months (literally the EXACT day) he turned into a whole new baby. Ha! He started napping in his cradle in our room AND he has stopped needing to be rocked before he's laid down. He's still really fussy before we lay him down at night for bed but just the fact that he can sleep in a room without us now is great progress. He's growing way too fast, folks. If only there was a way to pause for a little while.

Pages

The Hargrove Home

The tough season rolls on

Elijah:6 months!

2014: Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.

Elijah:5 months!

Updates, y'all!

Chi Alpha family tree

Elijah:4 months!

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