The Hargrove Home

I haven't really been able to breathe for a while now. Ever since Kaleb applied for the supervisor position at his job I haven't caught my breath. I've held it in waiting for an interview. He had his interview and I gasped and held it in again waiting for the next interview that never came. He got the email a couple of weeks ago saying he didn't get the job and I held my breath still...waiting for some divine miracle to show up. Whether it was in the form of his superiors saying they made a mistake or the person that they offered the job to somehow declining their offer. I have no idea what it was but I just kept holding my breath. Well, this is me finally breathing. I have typed up a completely different blog that I was going to post a week ago about this but I couldn't. I still wasn't breathing. I was still secretly hoping for that miracle that I felt we deserved somehow. I was angry and confused but nothing I felt compared to how Kaleb felt. He had worked so hard for this.

There are a couple of exciting things going on in our home that have developed over the last few days. As of yesterday I am now the Social Media Manager for author Jodie Mitchell. She is my friends aunt and has self published 3 books of poetry (The Trusting Time, In The Suffering, Careful Whispers) and is currently working on her new book Legacy which will be releasing soon. I am so excited to help spread the word about all of her books. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter and while you're at it check out her and her husbands ministry called April Sky Ministries. Seeing first hand how social media can help keep others updated on your works/works in progress I created (again) my own Twitter account. So follow, follow, follow!

Another wonderful opportunity God has presented us with is within the company Kaleb works for. I can't say what it is officially on here but keep us in your prayers and as soon as I get the ok I will let you all know. I thought that moving to Fort Worth  would open up doors for Kaleb but now I see that doors are being opened up for me as well and not to mention our family in general. We are also currently taking classes to become members at our new church. So many exciting and new changes happening that I had to share them with you all ASAP! All of these changes bring new meaning to Jeremiah 29:11-

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I did 3 loads of laundry last night: Elijah's clothes, darks, and lights. I'm always doing laundry. It's kind of ridiculous that 2 adults and 1 small child can dirty so many clothes but alas it is my daily job and it really doesn't bother me. As I was sitting on the couch this morning folding Elijah's clothes I kept thinking "didn't I just fold this same bear towel just the other day? And I know he literally just wore these shorts the other day how are they already washed and dried again? This is never ending." And it's not. The mundane life I lead with the everyday things won't have an end probably ever. How am I suppose to see Jesus in folding laundry? You see I've been trying really hard to see Jesus in everything. I long to walk in the Spirit more and I think a lot of that begins in seeing the Lord at work all around me. It's easy to see Him when I'm worshipping with thousands of other men and women at a conference or in a sentence my pastor speaks on a Sunday morning but it's harder to see Him in the mundane. When my life feels like it's on repeat and I'm doing the same thing over and over again, can I still see Him and figure out what He's trying to teach me?

I'm walking into the unknown and it's scary. Grace laden, this road is still scary. With each new milestone Elijah has my anxiety spikes. I keep thinking the next time his head smacks the ground he won't get right back up and laugh, he'll cry this time. He rarely does. He's strong. I wish I was as strong as him or as carefree.

I haven't made this "blog public" or even Facebook public for that matter mostly because I wanted to be 110% sure it would even happen but I'm not 110% sure; I'm only 90% sure (which is good enough for me). The Hargrove's are (trying to) move to Fort Worth. We've been discussing it since before Elijah was born but we weren't sure if it was the right move for us, if we had the finances, if it was really worth it, etc. Kaleb has been training at his job to be in a higher position, however, since there is only 1 Sam's Club here in good ole' Angelo he can't obtain that position because it's already filled. In Fort Worth there are a bajillion Sam's. In fact, there is a new one opening in Burleson. We're praying extra hard that he can be a supervisor for the demo's in one of the many Sam's there. Do we want to leave Angelo? Meh. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. The hardest thing for us will be leaving SAF. I can't even let myself think about it for too long because my heart hurts. But is it the smartest move for us? Yes, it's definitely starting to look that way. 2014 could be the year we get out of debt and that's more likely to happen if Kaleb could get this position. Our lease is up at the end of June so that's our time frame. Kaleb can apply to various locations, we can check on houses, and hopefully if everything works out we can get ready to make that 4 hour move. And in the midst of all of this I plan on throwing Elijah's first birthday party almost an entire month before his actual birthday because I'm determined to have all of his sweet baby friends a part of that celebration before we move.

So, there it is out in the open for all of the social media to read and if it doesn't happen it's going to be annoying to have to type that blog so I'm asking for prayers. Lots and lots of prayers that this works out for my family. Like many of my blogs have stated over the last 7 months-this has been the absolute hardest season we've ever been in. I stopped working to stay home with Elijah and Kaleb became the main provider. We've struggled to pay bills and keep groceries in the cabinets and with the paychecks that didn't go directly to bills we've had our battery go out in our car and tickets to pay off but Spring is coming. Spring. Is. Coming. The season where new life blooms is coming for us. I can see the sun and feel the warm breeze. God has been more than faithful through these rough months and our faith has rooted deeper because of the trials and tribulations. Most days it hasn't felt like it but when the light has broken through on the gray mornings I can see it. The roots, they're there.

I'm sitting by myself in my living room right now writing this post. Do you know how long it's been since I sat by myself? Elijah is asleep and Kaleb had to go back to work to refill some machine (Whatever SAMS club) and so here I sit with my thoughts and my blog. I can't really gather my thoughts in all honesty. They're just a jumble of words floating at the surface of the water kinda like my family. Kaleb is searching for a second job….again. I thought we were out of this season but we're not. We can't seem to get ahead. Kaleb's hours are so wonky lately. One week he'll work 4-5 days straight and the next he'll have 2 days scattered in a week. That's not enough. We haven't paid on our student loans in 6 months, we have every day bills/expenses, and now we have to get our emergency break fixed so that we can get our inspection passed and pay off the ticket we got for having it expired in the first place. Which brings us to the conclusion that he has to get a second job. Something part time, a 2-3 day a week kinda gig. So, if you're reading this and you know of somewhere that is hiring then please let us know. Anyway…Kaleb. *sigh* It's hard to watch your husband go through this. Quitting jobs only to get better ones then quitting those ones and looking for new ones to finally getting a great job where he's working his way up only to having to find a second job. I'm at a loss. We agreed from the beginning that I would stay home with Elijah. Daycare isn't an option for us so here I sit typing a blog while he's at work again. My heart aches for him but this is scripture being lived out the way God said it would be.

Dear Elijah,

Tomorrow would be the day your mama walked across the stage at Angelo State University and received a piece of paper declaring the hard work and hours she put it in to get specific education in a specific subject. This piece of paper, called a degree, would allow mama to teach the subject or to work within it's field. But mama will not be getting that piece of paper, son. I went to ASU for 2 years and then realized my calling in ministry and my inability to afford school and life on my own. It would be a lie to say I'm completely content with my decision. Some days it's hard and other days i'm perfectly fine with not being in school. Daddy will get his pastoral degree through an online university but at least he'll have a degree of some sort. I feel intimidated sometimes but then I remember where my heart is happiest and that sweet boy is with children and sharing my life with women in ministry.

You don't have to go to college. Yes, I said it. You don't HAVE to. It's something your dad and I have already discussed. Never think less of yourself if you choose not to. Always, always look for Kingdom work, Eli. Your personal Kingdom's work could be in a classroom teaching students or in a social work office helping in CPS situations. Whatever it looks like for you, do it. If your Kingdom work doesn't require a degree that's ok. You are my Kingdom's work. On the days you will scream for hours and not sleep (because yes, I know that day will come) I will remember that staying home with you and not sending you off to a daycare from 7 am-5 pm means I'm raising you. Raising you, praying over you, loving you, teaching you, cuddling you, feeding you...these are all things that seem simple but when really looked into-it's Kingdom work. Yes, I wish I was walking across the stage with the rest of my peers tomorrow BUT I am not at all sad or regretting your timing in anyway. You are Kingdom work. So is being a wife and a life group leader. So is being a teacher, a pastor, a nurse, a fire fighter, a cleaning lady, a graphic designer, and even an entrepreneur. If your soul's purpose is to glorify God in your life than your job is Kingdom work.

Always look for the Kingdom's work before looking for success. The crown is yours but never forget whose feet you will lay it at.

Love you always,
Mama

When I look around my house I see table top's that almost can't be seen because of the scattered messe of bills, food, dishes, and random things. I look around and see a ripped a couch and empty book shelves begging to hold our DVD's again but won't until we move. I see a 4 bedroom, 2 bath house with cluttered rooms; half packed, half scattered.

Oh goodness! I feel like I haven't updated anyone on the Hargrove home in quite some time. Though, it's really just been a couple of weeks. So here we go (it's going to go fast, folks):
-our lease was suppose to be up Nov. 30th
-it is now up at the end of December
-we were going to move into a cute town home
-we are now looking for a small apartment
-Kaleb is currently looking for a new job
-he has a bad sinus infection in which I had to take him to the ER a couple of weeks ago
-I got this whole week off (not planned) it was all very random
-Kaleb and I have been at my parents house all week. Enjoying time with family. It's been really nice actually.
-I have still not registered us for TWMS but that's the first thing I'm doing when I get home tomorrow.
-last weekend I was the guest speaker at the Phi Lamb retreat. Very cool.
-Thanksgiving was a huge success. I made a German Chocolate cake (my mom had to instruct me of course)
-black Friday shopping was an even bigger success. Please with all the sales we came upon.
-I have bigger updates coming in the next 2 weeks or so.

My only request is that you read this and then pray for us, please? We are entering into some exciting/scary/amazing seasons that (when I have time and I'm not updating from my phone) I will gladly share with you. I am also trying to come out of a funk recently so prayers for that would be nice as well. I think I always get funky around the holidays. It's the whole missing people who aren't here anymore and busyness that seems to always get me down a bit. Thank you friends!!

In one weekend Kaleb and I have covered a lot of ground regarding our next move in ministry. From the beginning of being together Kaleb has said he wants to get a pastoral degree and he wants to pastor a Chi Alpha. Those are 2 things we've always been sure of but there were so many questions arising and we couldn't tell which road would be the best one to take. It wasn't necessarily that God wanted us on a certain route. I believe the Lord wants us to pastor a Chi Alpha but the way we get there doesn't really matter to Him. No, that's not silly to think that. So many people think God has this road laid and He has each specific place named for us but where is free will in that? The Lord knows where we will end up school-wise because He knows the decisions we make before we even realize we have to make them but as for the decision process I've always believed that the school didn't matter as long as it's Christ honoring and it gets us where we ultimately are called to be-a Chi Alpha.

So Kaleb has flipped back and forth between Berean and CBC. Berean school of Bible and Central Bible College are both fantastic schools from what our mentors have told us and from what we have researched ourselves but eventually we had to choose. So we chose Berean and the best part is Kaleb won't be the only one doing it anymore. I will be taking classes as well. This was the part we finally decided on this weekend. Instead of just being his wife through ministry (being his supporter and encourager) I will be doing ministry right a long side him. We will both be going through the Chi Alpha internship together now instead of just Kaleb. This is a huge deal for us because one of the biggest obstacles we kept running into regarding our future in ministry is where I would be. College ministry has been my heart beat since I was put through leadership training the spring semester of 2011. I believe it will be hard, yes, but so worth it. Raising support together each month and getting to do ministry side by side has never felt more right in my heart. Now we're on this road and we're just pacing it feels like. We can't move until we finish some classes and decide where exactly we will do the internship at but we're pacing in peace now. It's funny a little. Peace is this week's challenge in my life group. The Lord has such a beautiful and silly way of showing up in the ways He does. I'm just thankful now.

We finally have some peace.