The Hargrove Home

2 years.

2 years is just a tiny scratch on the surface of what our marriage will become and what it already has unfolded into. I use to say it all the time when we first got married because everyone would ask me how I liked being married, so here's what I said-"Marriage is the biggest blessing I've ever received." Just in case you're wondering, it still is. Having children is a big blessing too but in a completely different way. No one really asks the how-we-met story but since I, personally, am a huge fan of them I'm going to share mine with you in honor of my small but beautiful 2 year anniversary.

If we get super technical I met Kaleb for a brief moment in the third pew, middle row at church. My friend Joey (his life group leader at the time) introduced us during a quick meet and greet. It was so brief in fact that Kaleb forgot my name the next time we saw each other. In all fairness I did almost call him Cameron when we met again but I quickly remembered his name and corrected myself before we spoke. Our official "meeting" is and always will be one of my favorite memories.

Right after school started up for the spring semester in 2011 Angelo State University had a snow day. It was rare so I count this a very special day. I woke up and got ready for class that day and made my way to the UC only to find out classes had been cancelled. I cannot for the life of me tell you who all from Chi Alpha was in the UC that day making plans to hang out. I remember seeing Kaleb, Joey, and my two friends Kayla and Brittanie. After that my mind goes blank because (and yes this is cheesy) Kaleb was the only one I could truly focus on. It's not a snippet of a love story, it's just fact. I wanted to know him better. We all ate and made plans to play football in the snow. I don't do sports, friends. I just don't do them but it was a snow day and to quote the movie with aforementioned title-"Anything can happen on a snow day."

We played football in the snow and it was probably the most fun I had all year. It was freezing to the point that my face and fingers hurt but it was the kind of fun that you just fight through the pain for. I can't remember if Kaleb and I were on the same team or if my team won. I just remember running back and forth and tackling people in the deep white snow. Afterwards Kayla invited us all to her apartment for dinner which was conveniently located right across the street from where we were all playing football. A bunch of us loaded up in cars and headed to the grocery store. This is where the instant connection began. Sitting next to Kaleb in his truck I hear the song on the radio and say "this is Tool, right?" People! His eyes could not have been any more obvious. It's like stars were literally coming out of them. He loved music the way I loved music and I just knew. Some people connect over a love of sports or food, my love and I connected over music and we still do. His response to my question was "You know who Tool is? Not many girls know Tool. I'm surprised." I had to give myself an invisible high-five for that one. I just found his favorite band upon our first actual conversation.

The rest of the night preceded with helping in the kitchen to make dinner, consuming said dinner, and watching all of the boys take turns playing video games. Somehow, by the grace of God maybe, Kaleb and I ended up being the ones who volunteered to do the dishes. The dishes of at least 10 people gave us enough time to chat about Jesus, schools we were thinking about transferring to, music, and Chi Alpha. I wanted to drag out all of the dishes in every single cabinet in Kayla's kitchen just so I could have more time with him by myself. Alas, the dishes were clean and we headed back into the living room where Kaleb picked up one of the guys guitars and started picking out a Nickelback song. I don't know who exactly started it or how we ended up there but the next thing I know Kayla and I are singing He Won't Relent while someone played the guitar and the entire apartment starts filling with a random act of worship. It was real and it was beautiful. Kaleb and I started discussing trying out for the worship team for Chi Alpha. He wanted to play the drums and I wanted to sing. We decided, together, that we would go for it. He brought out a bravery in me in that moment that I had never before had. I didn't just sing in front of people. That's not who I was but when Kaleb played with confidence it made me want to mimic that confidence and give it my all.

What happened at the end of the night is something I still poke at Kaleb about. When everyone was getting ready to leave Kaleb slid his phone across the floor to me without saying anything. When I picked it up it was opened to his keypad. I laughed and put in my number. He texted me right there so I could save his into my phone as well. That took guts on his part. He dropped me off at my dorm and I texted him almost right away to tell him I left my chips and salsa that I had just bought that day at Kayla's apartment. Being the sweet guy he is, he brought them to me. I wanted him to stay and talk to me for hours but being the gentlemen he is, he left and went back to his dorm. That night we confirmed plans to hang out that weekend.

My heart is doing flips just typing this story out. I love our story but that's only the beginning of it. One day I'll get the courage to type out our dating story. That story will take a lot of tears and vulnerability that I just don't have quite yet. 3 years maybe? Who knows. For now, this is the beginning of my forever and I had no idea at this time that Kaleb was the man I had been praying for.

Happy anniversary, baby. You are quite literally my favorite husband. I love the way you keep this on going spark in our marriage. This snap that otherwise I thought would die out once we became parents. You have shown great amounts of grace and patience with me these last 2 years as I have navigated motherhood and being a wife. I have found ugly parts of myself during these last 2 years that I would think would make you run but wrapped in your arms in the dark I can still hear you say "I'm choosing to love you." A constant reminder that this isn't a process of us falling in love, it's a process of us choosing it daily. More specifically choosing that this marriage is a covenant we made together with the Lord, not something we chose to do because we felt it was the next step. I can't begin to understand what you saw in me that day we met but I must have done something right to catch your eye. I loved you then and I love you more now and I suspect that love will ebb and flow sometimes as do the seasons of marriage but just like you're choosing, so am I. I love you. Forever and always, Kaleb James. 

There are a couple of exciting things going on in our home that have developed over the last few days. As of yesterday I am now the Social Media Manager for author Jodie Mitchell. She is my friends aunt and has self published 3 books of poetry (The Trusting Time, In The Suffering, Careful Whispers) and is currently working on her new book Legacy which will be releasing soon. I am so excited to help spread the word about all of her books. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter and while you're at it check out her and her husbands ministry called April Sky Ministries. Seeing first hand how social media can help keep others updated on your works/works in progress I created (again) my own Twitter account. So follow, follow, follow!

Another wonderful opportunity God has presented us with is within the company Kaleb works for. I can't say what it is officially on here but keep us in your prayers and as soon as I get the ok I will let you all know. I thought that moving to Fort Worth  would open up doors for Kaleb but now I see that doors are being opened up for me as well and not to mention our family in general. We are also currently taking classes to become members at our new church. So many exciting and new changes happening that I had to share them with you all ASAP! All of these changes bring new meaning to Jeremiah 29:11-

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I feel like there are many topics I can't blog about and by can't I mean won't. Without any specifics I'm just talking about topics that pertain to things I haven't personally experienced or even things that I have experienced but feel like I haven't walked out long enough to really share anything on it. But when it comes to the topic of shame and freedom in Christ, it's something I know well. Curled up on my friends couch the other day I made this statement:

To this guy, the man I gave my forever to, I must say that nothing he does goes unnoticed. The hard work he puts in to provide for Elijah and I, the things he does at home long after he's clocked out, and the amount of time and love he never seems to run out of for our son. None of it has gone unnoticed, I see him, my sweet husband. I see him.

The countdown is officially on. 30 days until my boy turns 1! I will be soaking in many nursing sessions, tickle fights, and cuddles since they are all few and far between. Well, maybe not the tickle fights. At 11 months-

• 23 lbs
• 27 inches
• Sleeping through the night (FINALLY!)
• Can take a total of 9 steps though he did walk across the living room last night
• Still breastfed but usually every 4-5 hours and not at all during the night
• Eating 3 solid meals and snacking in between
• Recently discovered he likes playing in his pack n play
• Has a new found love for water
• Sticks his tongue out and back in 
• Started getting a little sad when daddy leaves the house
• Wearing 12m-18m clothes
• Cloth diapered full time but in disposables over night
• Will not wear shoes or hats
• Loves hanging out in the pool
• Completely off of his reflux medicine
• Cries at really loud noises (dogs barking, lions roaring, etc)

With a heavy heart

San Angelo

It's where I laid myself upon an altar and died only to rise a born again someone.
It's where my 2 years of college education began and ended but not indefinitely.
It's where a scrawny freshman slid his phone across the carpet and asked me for my number.
It's where God showed up and rescued me, pulling me from the muck and the mire and cleansing my soul.
It's where I danced in front of the mirror with Amy and shared 4 am conversations with Whitney.
Where I started working with babies and discovered a love for children I never knew I had.
Where I made many mistakes but learned to run to Jesus instead of from Him.
Where that scrawny freshman gave me my first flower on our first Valentines day together.
Where I finally got on stage and learned to deal with my fear.
Where someone thought I was worthy enough to lead others.
Where I became a part of a leadership team that became more than people; they became family.
Where that scrawny freshman cried on my shoulder and I cried too.
Where I found my mentor.
Where I found community.
Where I found a pastor who gave me food to eat and fed me the Word as well.
Where God told me I would clean up messes and I did.
Where He told me to step back and really look.
Where He told me to stay because the workers were few but the harvest was great.
Where I fell in love with that scrawny freshman and discovered he was the man I'd been praying for.
Where that scrawny freshman became not so scrawny and where we shared our first kiss.
Where my life finally made sense.
Where I wrestled with the Lord over and over when mending my brokeness.
Where He restored my heart and made me new.
Where that boy decided to make our first kiss, my last first kiss.
Where I discovered my fear of friendships and lost a lot of people.
Where I drove a few girls away who were counting on me.
Where I learned how to two step by a lake.
It's where I found modesty and purity to be the very thing God was asking of me.
It's where I got the phone call that my mamaw had passed away.
It's where Sarah dropped her homework and came to my dorm to pray over me.
It's where I found out I was pregnant and jumped off the couch to hug that man I married.
It's where I learned motherhood cannot be done alone.
It's where I finally opened up about my miscarriage.
It's where I first went to Hastings and fell in love with the book section.
Where I was 18 and Mari told me the Lord was writing my love story over 2 am messages on Facebook.
It's where I began blogging and where I discovered an online community who got me.
It's where I became addicted to coffee.
It's where I came back from my honeymoon and stopped being a fiancé and started being a wife.
It's where I helped Sabrina fight for breastfeeding.
Where I saw Maroon 5 and Fitz and The Tantrums in concert.
Where I stood by the bon fire and decided there was more.
Where I went to the lake at midnight with my XA friends and got moved by the Holy Spirit.
It's where I met the most amazing OB/GYN and cried with friends when we had to say good-bye.
It's where honoring one another became harder than I could imagine.
It's where I woke up each Sunday eager to go to church.
It's where I discovered my heart for young couples and new moms.

San Angelo...

It's an anointing oil spilling over me and the smell of a new dorm.
It's living on my own for the first time.
It's ratty furniture and hand-me-down dishes.
It's packages in the mail and tearful good byes.
It's phone calls to my family and Charlotte moving to live with me.
It's Charlotte moving back to Fort Worth after my wedding.
It's learning that being sick without your mom to take care of you sucks pretty hard.
It's no money to pay rent until a little owl card comes and a vase of flowers.
It's a grace laden friendship I can never let go of.
It's wisdom from wise counsel spilling over me time and time again.
It's tough conversations and lots of prayer.
It's learning to cook and bake.
It's countless baby and bridal showers.
It's weddings I danced at and several I cried at.
It's new relationships to discover.
It's delivering my first child.
It's a doula and lactation consultant who rocked my world.
It's postpartum tears shared in a dark living room with Sarah the day she showed me how to nurse.
It's discovering I can do all things through Christ. 
It's driving to Ashlee and Heath's house to share my broken heart.
It's a dimly lit hallway I walked down with my RA friend for nightly rounds.
It's midnight laundry washing at Texan Hall.
It's girl's night at Keely's place with prayer instead of gossip.
It's a night ride on the back of the motorcycle.
It's playing football in the snow and worship in the apartment.
It's Zero One Ale House and Armenta's.
It's getting close to The Ferguson's right before they moved away.
It's singing to raise money for missions.
It's hugging Kayla on the front pew and telling her I'm sorry.
It's too much ramen and so much free food.
It's parties at The Grove and learning what BC days are all about.
It's traveling from dorm to dorm with new friends.
It's my-face-in-the-carpet type prayers.
It's Mali, Jake, Ellie, Grayson, and Lylah being etched in my heart forever.
It's sharing life in married life group and realizing how much I need them.
It's late night conversations at the Kotze's while Elijah snoozes in the pack n play.
It's one movie theatre and a one story mall.
It's wishing Baker Street would come back.
It's DMB always coming through the speakers.
It's an inspiration of health from The Taylor's.
It's accountability I never asked for but desperately needed.
It's living in 4 apartments and 1 house over the span of 3 years.
It's the Holy Spirit falling every sunday morning at SAF.
It's praying at Starbucks during regroup.
It's 2 transitions of pastors whom I greatly love and respect.
It's worship that moved me to tears and sermons that grew me.
It's finally building a relationship with her only to let it fall between my fingers.
It's "click-click" and all of the memories that rush back.


It's San Angelo and no one can tell me any different.

Fort Worth, you have some pretty big shoes to fill.