The tough season rolls on

7:07 PM

I'm sitting by myself in my living room right now writing this post. Do you know how long it's been since I sat by myself? Elijah is asleep and Kaleb had to go back to work to refill some machine (Whatever SAMS club) and so here I sit with my thoughts and my blog. I can't really gather my thoughts in all honesty. They're just a jumble of words floating at the surface of the water kinda like my family. Kaleb is searching for a second job….again. I thought we were out of this season but we're not. We can't seem to get ahead. Kaleb's hours are so wonky lately. One week he'll work 4-5 days straight and the next he'll have 2 days scattered in a week. That's not enough. We haven't paid on our student loans in 6 months, we have every day bills/expenses, and now we have to get our emergency break fixed so that we can get our inspection passed and pay off the ticket we got for having it expired in the first place. Which brings us to the conclusion that he has to get a second job. Something part time, a 2-3 day a week kinda gig. So, if you're reading this and you know of somewhere that is hiring then please let us know. Anyway…Kaleb. *sigh* It's hard to watch your husband go through this. Quitting jobs only to get better ones then quitting those ones and looking for new ones to finally getting a great job where he's working his way up only to having to find a second job. I'm at a loss. We agreed from the beginning that I would stay home with Elijah. Daycare isn't an option for us so here I sit typing a blog while he's at work again. My heart aches for him but this is scripture being lived out the way God said it would be.

"...through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life…"

He's a hardworking husband doing everything he can to provide in such a way that I can stay home with Elijah. It's truly admirable. I just love him.

But I want to feel like we're on stable ground again. I miss that feeling. But where would my faith be if it wasn't shaken from time to time? It would be easy and God did not call us to live an easy life. Taking up the cross is a daily thing and surrendering the things that are out of my control is almost an hourly thing. I'm clinging to something He said to me at a Wednesday night service a few months back-This is our testimony and through this we will be able to reach and help the way so many of our friends have reached out and helped us. So as it all piles on tonight and I really feel the weight from this tough season I remember that even now He is STILL good and that this, too, shall pass. 

One day the dawn will break over this season but for now He's growing us and rooting our faith. He's a good God. 

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