Today I'm taking advantage of Lisa Jo Baker's Five Minute Friday. I was so intrigued by the prompt for this week's challenge that I had to join in. The prompt is this- What Mama Did. I'm excited!
5 minutes....and GO:
My mama made everything clean. Maybe that sounds stereotypical or almost sexist but that't not true at all. That's what made her my mama. That's how I knew it was my house. That's how I knew I was home, always. The smells were captivating. I was reminded of this yesterday when i nasty, awful smelling bag of trash was sitting in my kitchen and I thought to myself that my mom's kitchen never smelled of trash or gross things. It smelled like food or cleaning supplies. Something that usually carried a lemon scent. Our bathrooms always had candles lit in them and our bedrooms (if they were cleaned by her, definitely not if they were cleaned by us) smelled like fresh laundry and always had the curtains open, inviting the light to cast it's beauty on our comforters and toys.
She was the epitome of a mama. She had dinners ready (including snacks after school), laundry finished, clean floors, ready to help with homework or answer questions from a long day at school. But the smells were always my favorite. Her bathroom was full of lotions and perfumes that I loved to smell when I wandered into her room. Smells that forever mark her beauty and mama-nesss. She is a great mama even now while I'm grown and about to have my own kid. She's just the best.
STOP!
Dear Elijah,
I love your name that daddy chose. I love it. I love it. I love it. Elijah means my God is the Lord and yes son, your God IS the Lord. Fisher was picked almost at random. We heard that name on a show we were watching and daddy loved it but I like to think of the verse from Matthew 4:19. That's weird, huh? Being a fisher of men but I know that's who you'll be. Like so many people have already proclaimed over you-you will move mountains and reach nations. I pray you do even more than daddy and I. I pray your achievements and goals are set in Christ. So many people are in love with you already. You have no idea how many people I had to text yesterday after we found out you were a boy. Everyone was on pins and needles. I wonder if texting will still be around when you're a teenager. Who knows.
Daddy and I were talking about the things we want to teach you. Daddy probably has a lot more to offer when it comes to being manly. Sports, music, fitness, shaving, burping (not at the table, please), camping, hiking, love of outdoors, but most importantly he will teach you about the men in the Bible. He will teach you who God is and about the Holy Trinity. You will know all 3. I kept wondering what I could teach you. It was starting to frustrate me. And then I thought of the one thing I hope to instill in you the most is how to love. No one knows love like a mama. Not just how you can love your wife one day (that day will be so joyous) but even your friends. How you can love others who you don't even know. How you can love God. How you can have a sweet, kind heart in a masculine world and not lose your strength. I pray you stand up for people. I pray you stand up for your faith. Your true strength isn't measured by how well you do things it's measured by Christ and the obedience you have under His authority. You are going to be a great man one day but first you will be my little man and I will love you forever even when you leave the shelter of my wings, I will love you still.
My cup overflows, Eli. It's already spilling over.
Love,
Mommy
So many weddings are coming up. I mean SO many. And I literally have no words to describe how happy I am for all of these weddings though I might have to miss some considering the fact that my due date is on the day of one of them (Jazz-I am so, so sad I have to miss your wedding but I know it will be BEAUTIFUL!!) I want to give you all a gift and by gift I mean something I wasn't given but would have really liked to hear and that is this-advice from a newlywed. All of the advice and wisdom I was given was from women who had been married for years (which means those chicks are full of TONS of wisdom) but the season I was entering in was being a new wife so naturally I longed to hear from a wife who had just recently been married. So before I say anything just know this-Find a wife of many years and make her your mentor. Seriously. Do it. It's the best! But now I will give you the knowledge I have from being married for half of a year.
1) Give up on the idea of being a perfect wife like now. As I just put my last load of laundry in the washer I am thinking to myself that I still do this. I am constantly frustrated that I don't have home cooked meals prepared for my husband, loads of laundry complete and put away everyday, dishes clean and in the cabinets every morning, prayers sent up to heaven by the time my husband wakes up, encouragement dripping from my tongue the minute something goes wrong. You get the picture. I am just frustrated with myself all the time but I shouldn't be. I try too hard to live up to Proverbs 31 that it almost drives me insane and that was not the purpose of it when God breathed those beautiful guidelines into scripture. Your husband does not expect perfection. Ever. Breathe that in and then let it resonate in your soul.
2) Never underestimate the power of respect. I am learning this one STILL. If you have not read Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs then you need to read it. For real. It's amazing. It continually blows my mind at how wrong I was about my husband needing constant love from me. He needs my respect more. I can't explain it to be honest but the book says it all and it will do wonders for your marriage.
3) Prayer. This is the one I suck at the most. I forget to pray for my husband throughout the day. I'm getting better at it but if I would have remembered it from day one our marriage would be way more blessed than it is right now. Holy. Goodness. Your marriage will be crazy filled by the Holy Spirit if you're praying. Not just for him but for your home, your future children, his wisdom, your wisdom, his job, your job, your intimacy with each other, etc the list goes on and on. Never underestimate the power of a prayer, yes but also never underestimate the power of your prayers as the wife. It will blow your mind.
4) You are a team. There is a reason you are called Ezer Kenegdo in Genesis. It's because you are exactly that-You are his help mate. Marriage works best when you're being a team player. You should be working together not against each other. My husband and I do have our individual strengths, trust me. He is not allowed to do laundry for example. If he did he would throw everything together instead of separating darks, colors, towels, etc. And I don't touch the bills. I forget things way too easily to pay our bills. That has remained his job. And for each couple it's different. There are definitely things that he does better than me and vice versa so we leave it up to the individual but we are a team, always. We do life together, never separately. All decisions we have made for our lives have been together. They have been hashed out and dealt with as a team. Hence the reason we only waited 3 months to get pregnant. That was just our choice, it's not for everyone and we totally understand that but that was a decision we prayed over together and talked about incessantly from the minute we said "I do." So whatever path you walk in your marriage just remember to walk side by side. You were taken from his rib, not his head or feet. Don't forget that.
5) Sex. We all knew it was coming. I feel I shouldn't say much on this subject because I have no idea who will read this but for you girls who I now have waited with your fiance until your wedding night just know this- sex is POWERFUL in your marriage. Just this morning I heard a comedian talking about how once you're married you stop having sex. Obviously this comedian was talking about the worldy view of marriage not the God centered one. I read somewhere that sex is like a silent cheer for men. And a mentor of mine (who has been married to her husband for years now) said that sex for men is like an ego boost. And i completely agree with all of that but what bothers me is that no one says what sex for the wife is like. I believe it's healing especially when you have a past that you're not proud of. It's also an intimacy with God and my husband that I really can't explain. Everyones view on sex is different that's for sure but don't forget that it's for you just as much as it's for your husband. It should be an equal share in it in my opinion. Sex makes or breaks your marriage. It truly does. All other thoughts on this subject should be said privately. I'm sure some people reading this aren't too happy about this part (sorry.)
Anyway, those are my thoughts. My 6 months of wisdom. And all 5 of those things are things I still learn as we go. Marriage is tough and beautiful and crazy and exciting and healing and intimate and honestly the best blessing you could ever receive. I love being married. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. Soak in as much advice as you can from all of the wives you trust and love. They know what's up! I love you ladies and I'm praying for your marriages. Get ready, it's awesome!
Wednesday night was rough. Actually, it wasn't rough at all but all the little things from that day piled on and by night fall I felt wrecked. I think it mostly started when Kaleb told me he didn't have Thursday off with me. I was pretty bummed. I had a whole day planned out for us (because I rarely get out of the apartment) so I was kinda irritated when his boss gave him Friday off instead of Thursday. Seriously, Bre? Not that big of a deal, girl. Trust me I know. The rest of the day went bad when only 4 of my life group girls said that they could come to life group that night. I had a very special lesson planned which couldn't be taught to only 4 of them. It was like a bonding and strengthening community type lesson so the other girls would have been missing out if I would have taught it when they weren't there. As a life group leader that totally bums you out.
And then the house smelled horrible because of the baked potatoes in the oven, the tilapia was not as yummy as I hoped it would be, and I burned the muffins for my girls.
What a tragedy, right? No I know. It was not a big deal at all but to my almost-17 weeks-pregnant self it really was a travesty. I decided that 15 minutes before my girls arrived I would sob quietly in the kitchen. That way I could emerge relaxed and fine once they arrived. I sat down and looked at what my lesson would have been about and realized the very thing I did (crying in the kitchen when no one was there) was exactly what I was going to teach on. Obviously not about crying but just about letting your community, your life group, your girls...see your pain, feel your hurt, walk with you and help carry your burdens. If I'm honest all of those things weren't the real problem. They just added to the mess that I felt I was already knee deep in. But I couldn't admit that, right? I'd lose face or ground in some weird way.
Man, Jesus knows how to humble you and slap you in the face all at the same time. Dang.
