Chi Alpha

Come to the well

8:14 AM

Life is so crazy right now. I keep telling people that but I'm definitely not being dramatic-it is seriously crazy. I try and avoid looking at my calendar on my phone because it's packed with weekend plans and XA activities. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe underneath all of God's goodness that He has poured out in my life. Getting to be a part of this team is overwhelming me more this year than it did last year. At the leadership retreat I went to this week I could feel the plans and activities suffocating me again. As we went over schedules, life group nights, and XA Monday nights I could feel myself gasping for a breath or two. Enough to get me through this year.

Why do I feel this way Lord? I am so excited to walk alongside You and do work with You, why do I feel overwhelmed? He didn't answer but simply showed me something at HEB camp that needed no words...at first.



Come to the well. Drink from the living water, be filled, do not run dry, love with a love that overflows like mine does. I didn't even have to hear Him say it. I just knew His many answers. Do not forget to run back to the well and continue to fill back up because you WILL run dry if you do not keep me first.

Come to the waters, you who thirst and you'll thirst no more.
Come to the father, you who work and you'll work no more.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed:

Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from
His hands, from his brows.
Love is near, it satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Cuz love is here.

Come to the treasure, you who search and you'll search no more.
Come to the lover you who want and you'll want no more, no.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed, 

And to the bruised and fallen,
Captives, bound, and broken hearted.

He is the lord
He is the lord,

By his stripes he's paid our ransom
From his wounds we drink salvation

He is the lord
He is the lord 











A leadership team made of steel? No, made of God.

4:27 PM

This week has been absolutely CRAZY! I feel like I have had no time to just sit and take things in without having to move again. Now that I have finally found a moment my conclusion of all of this craziness is this-

Our leadership team is unstoppable. Not because of anything we do but because of everything that God does and who He is.

The attacks just keep coming. Left and right they come but the Lord is all around them. All around the attacks, He is there. He's not facing them to the left or the right. He is all there.

Kaleb and I just came from visiting one of our friends in the hospital. She has a kidney infection of some sort and she is one of the wonderful assets to the leadership team we serve on in XA. And just the other night as I was preparing for my 1 am prayer (XA had a 48 hour prayer thing going on where we each had a different time slot) and another friend was in the hospital. She had an infection in her intestine I believe. As I'm sure you have gathered she is also one of the life group leaders on our leadership team. And then today I had a mild asthma attack. Not so bad that I had to go to the hospital but bad enough that I had to leave in the middle of our church service. It's not that these things are the only issues running in our lives but it's these illnesses that have shown me just how strong our God is. He fights for us individually, yes, but He is also fighting for Chi Alpha at Angelo State University.

Our leaders are getting attacked physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally but they are present. They are fighting because God is fighting. He is on our side and that has become so apparent to me today. Satan is doing everything to stop our leaders and to me that says we're on the right track. He knows how much we're capable of through our Heavenly Father and he does not like it. Clearly, he can see the movement that's about to happen this fall semester and I for one am STOKED! This fall semester has been prayed for, sobbed over, and absolutely battled out by our leadership team.

We. Are. Ready.

In just 1 week we get to see the fruits of our labor filling up the pews and I just can't wait. Our leadership team isn't made of steel, we're made of God. By His strength, we find ours. And by His grace we have been rescued and now we are reaching. We are reaching.

Kaleb

The beginning of my forever

5:39 PM

Slowly moving, barely taking steps down the stairs to my soon to be husband in 2 hours-I feel like i can't breathe. I'm not scared. Why would marrying my best friend scare me?


I. am. anxious.

My heart is pounding in my chest as 2 photographers shoot picture after picture. Helping Kaleb and I to document this moment. This moment is called "the first look." We chose to see each other before the wedding for so many reasons but the biggest one was so that we could have a moment alone. A moment that was just ours. Not with our friends and family staring at us as Kaleb tries to tell me how beautiful I look and not with our pastor standing arms length away as I whisper over and over again to Kaleb how much I love him but a moment just for us. A moment that I didn't quite prepare for until I was already making my way down the stairs. 

Kaleb's back was turned away. I folded my hands over his eyes, ignoring the flashes from the cameras. I just breathed, giggled, and let him turn around. 
That was the happiest I had ever seen Kaleb. His eyes welled up with tears as he told me how perfect I looked and how amazing my dress looked on me. He had no idea that it wasn't securely tightened and that it was practically falling down. He just knew that standing in front of him he saw beauty. Before I went out there I kept telling my bridesmaids-"My hair is too big", "My dress is falling down", "I look to sweaty", "I don't feel beautiful." I told them that the whole time I was getting ready but all it took to change my mind was to see Kaleb's face. He was literally swept off his feet. And that's all my heart wanted...was to sweep him off his feet the way he always swept me off mine. 

The rest of that night was absolute perfection. Though my dress made me mad at how much it kept falling down (as i'm sure you can unfortunately see in pictures) none of it mattered. 

Nothing mattered.

My sweet Lord confirmed over and over again that night, This is the beginning of your forever.

I love all of the questions I get when I tell people I'm married or, when we were engaged, that I was getting married soon. The normal worries always slipped between everyone's lips, out into the air, hanging in front of me, waiting for an answer. 

Aren't you kinda young?
No.

Are you ready?
As I'll ever be

What about school?
School is there whether I'm married or not. I can be a wife and still be in school.

Are you sure? 
(I had to laugh at this one) Um, yes. I'm surer than sure. Haha!

And my favorite one is the one people don't ask but merely whisper about as if I can't hear-
Isn't this a little soon? (These people were referring to Kaleb's dad who passed away almost 16 months ago and these people are usually family members.)
My answer-Kaleb's heart will be in pain forever over his dad's death but God and myself are trying our best to help him heal. Since his dad passed away I have never seen Kaleb more happy than these last 3 weeks being married to me. Call it marital bliss or whatever you want but Kaleb began healing a lot more the day we got married. I understand the worry, trust me I do. But has it ever occurred to anyone that there is not always complete understanding behind God's unbelievably perfect timing? Kaleb's heart is one that I am still learning but that God knows full well already. We were brought together at a perfect time, under a perfect God, on a perfect day, with a perfect love. Maybe it's not your perfect but it is my version of perfect. I was there when that tragic day struck Kaleb's life, as his friend i was there. And now I will be there as his wife. For the rest of our forever, I will be there. 

We did not get married to heal but in our marriage we will learn to heal each other while God (the ultimate healer) does His work. And His work is one that is not seen until time passes. 

I am married to the most amazing man of God I have ever met. I am married to a man that loves God more than he loves me, who has a servant's heart the size of Texas, who is not afraid to be emotional with me, who loves our silly black lab even when he runs into fences, who kisses me in the morning even before I get rid of my morning breath, who runs to the kitchen when I am overwhelmed by the burner that never turns on for me, who works hard to provide, who never dismisses my tears even though I cry a lot, who asks permission to play video games because he doesn't want me to feel like he's not spending time with me, who lets me have my quiet times without barging in the room, who loves worship music the way I love it, who rubs my back when I'm having trouble falling asleep, who loves every inch of me even when I look in the mirror and complain, and who loves me dearly. 

I am Mrs. Breanna Pebbles Hargrove and I wouldn't trade that for anything in this entire world.


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