During worship yesterday morning I decided to push past all of the anger I'm still feeling and go all in. I have never been the person who can just stand there while God's presence is thick and not reach my hands up into His love and goodness. I always have to reach. And somewhere in between the anger of her passing and the love I have for God an involuntary Hallelujah pushed it's way past my lips and hung in the air in front of me. It stayed there staring me straight in the face, forcing me to open my eyes and recognize all that it stood for. 

"Hallelujah. Hallelujah Jesus. Hallelujah."

Saying it over and over again I remembered what I already knew. I do not and will not have all of the answers and while cancer is absolutely from Satan, God is the one who called her Home. He took her  to a place where she will feel no more pain and though it causes the rest of us a certain amount of emotional pain in the process we will have joy again! He has promised that and I'm holding on tight to it. 

"A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance...."

Ecclesiastes 3:4