Dear Elijah,

Is it really 12 weeks until you're here? That doesn't sound right. It seems like last week I was holding the pregnancy test in my hand, feeling my stomach drop, and hugging your dad with joyful tears in both of our eyes. I mean really? Only 12 more weeks? Is it seriously the middle of April? My head can't wrap around these truths but my heart sure can. I am ready for Sunday morning snuggles before getting us both ready for church. And yes, I'm "ready" for the 2 am, 4 am, 6 am, etc. feedings. But honestly how do you prepare for something you've never experienced? Well son, I believe you prepare by prayer (and research of course) but when research doesn't give you the hard honesty you're looking for than prayer is the only way to prepare in my opinion. So many pre conceived thoughts have changed since the beginning of this pregnancy. Natural birth, doulas, a birthing tub (that I can't actually deliver you in), you sleeping in our room, homeschool (that's a long time from now and still up for discussion with your father)....these were all things I had never even considered until you became our reality. I am so excited though!

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm scared. I'm not scared (yet), I'm just nervous. Very nervous for your arrival. Nervous for what comes after. Nervous about your health. Nervous about the first time we'll be alone together while daddy is at work. The many thoughts that race through a new mother's mind as she tries and sleep. Oh! We were blessed with another bag of clothes for you last night. You're more loved than you know, son. It even surprises me at times. And just to warn you-You will probably be passed around a lot when you first get here. Don't freak out. You'll be returned safely to mama's arms after everyone gets to see how handsome you are. Sorry for no words of wisdom in this letter. Just the ramblings of an overly anxious and excited mama for her new babe. I love you more than words can describe little man.

Love,
Mama

And just for fun-

                                                                        10 weeks