The Hargrove Home

I have a three year old! This is crazy. Mostly because he's my OLDEST. How weird is that? I have an oldest and a youngest now. My oldest, my first born, he turned three. At three years old Elijah-

• Semi potty trained (is that a thing?)
• Wears size 3T in clothing and size 7 in kids shoes
• Talks ALL the time. He's never quiet.
• Favorite foods-PBJ (of course), fries, all fruit, kefir (drink), burritos, pasta
• Favorite TV show-Animal Mechanicals and Dino Train
• Loves to play on his LeapPad
• Loves to play at the park
• LOVES to swim and is a lot better now that he has had a few swim lessons
• Very obsessed with Star Horse (Star Wars) even though he's never actually watched it
• Loves anything dinosaur and even pretends he is a dinosaur. He has a great T-Rex impression
• Favorite phrases-"I'm hungry", "Sister is SOOO cute", and "Mmm. No, thanks."
• He's a sponge. Literally he soaks up everything around him all the time
• Has his first cavity (womp, womp)
• Sleeps about 11-12 hours at night
• Does not nap. He basically gave those up last year
• Loves the church nursery. He's always excited to play and see his friends
• Also, he has been nicknamed "The Runner" at church for obvious reasons-he escapes!
• Drums like his daddy. Seriously, he keeps beat really well for a three year old, it's kind of shocking
• Sings all day, everyday like his mama

Yes, she's already a month old. As does all time....it went fast and I'm so frustrated. Thankfully she hasn't hit any real milestones yet so I don't feel like she's growing too fast. This first month transitioning to two kids has proven to be very hard for Elijah which means it has been pretty hard on me and Kaleb. Elijah is a strong willed boy already but now that Abigail is here his strong will has almost tripled. Without going into too much detail he loves Abigail but is not too happy with me and Kaleb and he definitely lets us know. His world has changed a lot this last month but I know as she grows he will adjust better. I can tell he's ready for her to play with him already. He brings her toys in hopes that she will just reach out and grab them but sadly that won't be the case for quite a few months. At one month old Abigail is-

• 8lbs 9oz
• 21 inches
• Nursing every two hours during the day but can go three or four hours at night
• Does not burp or spit up a lot which can be hard on her tummy sometimes
• HATES her car seat
• Loves to sit and just take in the world around her
• Loves being swaddled
• Prefers to sleep on daddys chest than on mine
• Co sleeps with us at night
• Enjoys tummy time for about ten minutes and then gets frustrated that she can't roll over

Dear Bre,

You are swollen to no end girlfriend and this last stretch of pregnancy feels like it's taking forever but everything is going to come so fast. You've prayed and dreamed up this labor and delivery process and for the most part you get exactly what you wanted. You're mighty. You birth your baby with no medicine even though they had to induce you and you feel like you're almost on a powerful high after that twelve hour labor but then he's out and on your chest and you realize you prepared so well for the birth but not so much for the everything after. In the hospital your husband does most of the work because you're not really there. You didn't change Elijah's diaper yourself until the third day of his life but I promise you he will never remember that. Being a new mom hit you fast and hard as it does every woman. You'll spend most nights nursing and then sliding your finger underneath his nose while he's sleeping so you can make sure he's still breathing. Every stir will wake you up and for many, many months you won't sleep because the anxiety doesn't leave. But I like to think that you leaned on God a lot more during this season then you probably ever had before. He sends you friends who help you on this journey of becoming a mom and even friends who aren't mamas who will hold your baby while they chat with you for hours. You're not as alone as you feel. You are surrounded by community and the three jobs Kaleb is holding down now is only temporary. Fast forward two years later and he has an amazing job, the job you prayed for over and over again. See...God hears you. He sees you. You are known and loved even when you spend 8am to 11pm without talking to a single adult. You got through those first months of witching hours and crying. You got through those months when Elijah would only sleep when he was held. You got through the CIO stage and eventually he sleeps in his own bed. You battled rounds of mastitis, ear infections, baby falling off the couch, postpartum depression, Sunday mornings spent in the nursing mama's room, Elijah's first trip to the ER. And even though it doesn't feel like it in those moments, your world is not crumbling I promise. You also get through milestones you thought would never come. He learns to crawl, walk, and talk. He pops his first four teeth within six days of each other and you lived to tell the tale. His first food was an avocado and he would still rather use his hands to eat than a spoon or fork. He learns to climb out of his crib much sooner than you ever thought he would and now he's two and sleeping in a twin bed. He blows your mind with how smart he is and how quickly he picks things up. He is strong willed and doesn't respond to discipline very well but somehow God will use his bold, courageous spirit for the Kingdom.

So, with Abigail you'll still learn a lot but there's so many things you already know now mama.
Nurse her when she wants and don't look at the clock.
Wear her so you can cuddle her and still play with Elijah.
Hold her if that's what she wants and don't force her to fall asleep if she's happy being awake.
Don't cry when you're sick and home with both babies, you can do it.
Let Elijah poke her nose and touch her head.
It's ok if she cries, it doesn't always mean something is wrong.
Open the blinds those first few weeks and turn the worship music on extra loud.
Put down the phone and trust your first instinct, you don't always have to call the pediatrician.
Utilize the community God has given you and ask for prayer or help when you need it.
Do not feel bad about Elijah watching too much TV at the beginning, Abigail needs you a little more than he does and that's ok.
Do not feel bad about putting her down in her crib so you can go to the bathroom.
It's ok if she cries while you're out at a restaurant. Just take a deep breath and nurse her.
If she kicks off the cover while you nurse her don't run to the bathroom, just feed her where you're at.
Eventually both kids will be crying at the same time-assess the situation and conquer one problem at a time.
Don't rush the days because they are few and far between.
Breathe in her new baby smell because that's a tiny glimpse of Heaven.
Thank God for her everyday even when it feels like you're going a little stir crazy.
Let Elijah bring you diapers and wipes and burp rags. He's anxious to help.
But most of all enjoy your babies. They are rewards from the King Himself.

Elijah has had sleep issues since he was about four months old. He's had seasons of sleeping in his crib on his own, taking great naps, putting himself to sleep, etc. But majority of the time we're like all of the other parents at 3am letting their toddler come into their bed because it's easier than fighting them to go back into their own. It's a routine now, honestly. I don't even notice it as I roll over and tell Kaleb that Elijah is crying. It's the same thing every night:

Go get Elijah from his bed-put him into ours
Go get his fan-plug it in our room
Grab his pillow-put it on our bed
Soothe him back to sleep-crash

And then every morning when Kaleb wakes up around 6am to get ready for work I roll out of bed, pee (as is the pregnant lady way), and go back to sleep on his side. I've noticed it every morning but for some reason this morning it stood out to me even more-Elijah was almost practically on Kaleb's pillow. I had to scoot him over to my side to finally squeeze in on Kaleb's. It's amazing what my husband tolerates all night long. He sacrifices his sleep so that Elijah and I are comfortable. The tiny amount of room he has makes me wonder how he doesn't fall off the bed most nights. It doesn't at all surprise me though, this is who Kaleb is. He sacrifices everything all the time. I know this is basically in the handbook of marriage but I can attest that their aren't many husbands who actually follow through with this sacred act of dying to their own time, money, and energy so their loved ones can have a great life.

He came home early from work today and helped me pack up the rest of the apartment. He didn't once ask for a moment of rest which would have been his right seeing as he works all day throughout the week. He just packed and joked with me. Strategizing our next box of dishes, washing the ones that were still in the sink, wrapping them up once they were dry, and then stacking that box on top of the mountain of other ones in our living room. He wears Elijah and keeps him entertained during Abby's appointments so that the doctors can focus on me and her. He picks up the annoying every day essentials like diapers and gallons of water even when he just got out of rush hour traffic. He slides into bed tired and worn out, counting the hours before Elijah wakes up again and still offers Abigail and I some prayer and snuggle time. His sacrificial love is the most beautiful kind of love I've ever had the chance of knowing.

That's Jesus.

I vowed last year that I would participate this year in the 31 days of writing challenge. To learn more about it and even sign up to do it yourself just go here. I have every reason to not accept this challenge this year but more than just expanding my writing and going deeper on one topic I'm also seeing this as an opportunity to slow down and really see Jesus in the mundane for 31 consecutive days. I'm not sure if I'll make it to be honest. I might make it to day 10 or day 18 and fall completely behind or I might complete this thing in perfect accordance with October. I think I'm a little crazy accepting such a challenge when I'm wading through the junk currently going on but maybe it's just crazy enough that it will work.



Elijah is always doing something new or saying new phrases and words that I'm honestly not sure where he picked them up. The other day he was watching me play Candy Crush and said "RAINBOW MAMA!!!" I don't think I've ever told him what a rainbow looked like or showed him a picture of one so I have no idea how he knew. Probably all of the random Netflix shows he watches. Another weird thing he has been doing lately is crossing his arms across his chest and exclaiming-"I scared! I scared!"At first I would brush it off but he does it so much lately that I started thinking it was a good opportunity to pray with him. When he would say it I would ask him if he wanted to pray about it so he wasn't scared anymore. He would say okay and climb up on the couch so he could sit next to me. I placed my hand on his back and prayed for the Lord to take away his fear. Obviously he's two so he would say amen and then not long after that exclaim that he was scared again but the point I was trying to show him was that you can pray when you're scared. God doesn't give us a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7) and even though he doesn't quite understand it right now I want to instill that in him. In the deepest part of his heart where he will hide his fear as young boy one day I want him to remember praying with me on the couch to not be afraid.



Kids preach, y'all. They really do. Most lessons from God that I learn come from something happening with Elijah so of course this was no different. We got some scary news about Abigail yesterday (hence why this first post is late). I will definitely share more once we know for sure what's going on but for now we have to get some tests done and I'm terrified. I'm so terrified. There is already a giant mountain in front of us with trying to move that this mountain now seems like too much. As I typed that I could hear the verse "This mountain will be thrown into the midst of the sea." My version of scared is obviously very different from Elijah's version but the answer is still the same. Pray the fear away. God is so much bigger than a diagnosis or a problem. He's so much bigger than these mountains. Part of me knows the Truth of who He is and another part is still just so scared. So, I'll pray. I'll keep praying until that fear turns to peace. I'll pray until God's healing hand moves over my womb. I'll do it because Elijah is reminding me that fear has no place in our life.

That's Jesus.

TWO!!!!!!

My first born is two. My oldest baby is not even looking like a baby anymore. He seems so grown up even though I know there is so much more growing he still has to do. A few things this two year old can do/likes:

• Forming actual sentences
• Loves to repeat
• Has become a much pickier eater #pickyeatersclub
• Favorite foods-all fruit, PBJ sandwiches, and anything that's dippable
• Down to one nap a day
• Can climb out of his crib and pack n play
• Has become more of an early riser
• Loves to "play" golf
• Loves for anyone and everyone to read to him
• Favorite TV shows are Jake and The Neverland Pirates ("Yo-Ho") and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
• Loves the slide at the park and will spend a whole hour going down it over and over again
• Loves the splash pad
• Wearing 2T clothes
• Size 5-6 in shoes
• Can use the potty and asks constantly but we haven't begun full on potty training yet
• Runs everywhere. Walking is too slow for him.
• Loves to kiss mama's belly and say hello to his baby sibling
• Not shy at all, extremely friendly
• Current favorite phrases-"Oh, MAN!" and "Daddy, come here!" 
• Loves playing with other kids but hasn't quite learned how to share toys yet

I have tried to write about my experience at Marriage Encounter as I said I would. I have also tried to write a Mother's Day post but the only post I want and need to write is the one I've typed up and deleted a few times in the last few weeks. This blog is my safe haven and my voice, it's my raw and vulnerable state where I love to be. No one likes sharing the awful and tragic parts of their life but this is my place to do it. So much freedom comes from writing it all down even if that means sharing it with the world or just sharing it with my small part of this world.

I thought it would take forever to get from the one year post to this one. 6 months seems like a long time when you say it out loud but Elijah turning an entire year AND a half has completely caught me off guard. Has it really been 6 months already since I threw his first birthday party? And does this really mean that we are now 6 months away from him turning 2? This is cray, y'all. It's also really hard to remember what new developments/milestones have passed in the last 6 months so bare with me here. At 18 months-

• 23 lbs
• 33 inches
• Learning how to eat with a spoon
• Has a special night time/morning drink to help him sleep (tart cherry juice mixed with milk-it works wonders)
• Still taking 2 naps and sleeps about 11 hours at night (until the 18m sleep regression hit. Oy.)
• LOVES to dance
• Some new words: Banene (banana), Obi (My father in law), pawpaw (my dad), tree, pease (please), up, Nonna (My mother in law), yesh (yes)
• Phrases he's mastered: Bye dada and Hi mama
• Tries to sing along to certain songs in the car. It's probably the cutest thing ever
• Wearing 18m clothes but a few 12m shirts still fit
• Loves crayons but gets bored when trying to color
• Starting to be fairly picky
• Favorite foods are any type of mexican food, bananas, and pb&j
• Climbs on everything
• Extremely friendly. Says hi to people every time we're out and about
• Loves the park
• Gives kisses all the time
• Loves to be tickled and now knows how to tickle other people
• Knows how to sniff things when we ask him to smell something and can blow on his food when we tell him it's hot

So thankful that Emily P. Freeman decided to do another link-up that I actually read about it when it happened. I usually catch them a few days late and then forget about them. The last one I did was the letter to my 17 year old self. Wow. That one holds so much for me. So I'm catching this one before it disappears on me. A few things I learned in 2014.

First off I wanted to leave these here because I am so proud of myself for keeping up with these posts for an entire year:

To this guy, the man I gave my forever to, I must say that nothing he does goes unnoticed. The hard work he puts in to provide for Elijah and I, the things he does at home long after he's clocked out, and the amount of time and love he never seems to run out of for our son. None of it has gone unnoticed, I see him, my sweet husband. I see him.

The countdown is officially on. 30 days until my boy turns 1! I will be soaking in many nursing sessions, tickle fights, and cuddles since they are all few and far between. Well, maybe not the tickle fights. At 11 months-

• 23 lbs
• 27 inches
• Sleeping through the night (FINALLY!)
• Can take a total of 9 steps though he did walk across the living room last night
• Still breastfed but usually every 4-5 hours and not at all during the night
• Eating 3 solid meals and snacking in between
• Recently discovered he likes playing in his pack n play
• Has a new found love for water
• Sticks his tongue out and back in 
• Started getting a little sad when daddy leaves the house
• Wearing 12m-18m clothes
• Cloth diapered full time but in disposables over night
• Will not wear shoes or hats
• Loves hanging out in the pool
• Completely off of his reflux medicine
• Cries at really loud noises (dogs barking, lions roaring, etc)

Last night we went out to Chili's with some friends. They called it our good-bye dinner which is as sweet as it is depressing. They're moving to College Station in July so we're not exactly sure when we will see them again. We were in a booth so Elijah was seated at the end in a high chair. There never seems to be enough room on tables for littles because not long after getting our drinks he grabbed one of our friends water cups and spilled it all over himself. The minute the cold water and fresh ice cubes hit his lap he started crying. I immediately told Kaleb to hand him to me and I would go change his diaper and leave his wet shorts off. Yes, I let my kid rock a shirt and cloth diaper for the rest of the night in public. It had to be done! On my way to the bathroom he was shaking still. That makes sense to me. He was cold and wet, poor guy. But the minute I laid him down on the changing table to get him dry he started full on screaming. No one in that bathroom could do their business I'm sure. The diaper change that should have taken 2 minutes (even with tossing and turning) felt like it took an hour because of the angry crying my son was doing.

He wasn't so much sad as he was scared and angry at the changing process. He was mad he got wet in the first place. He was mad he was cold. He was scared to be on the tall changing table. He was scared of getting changed. After it was over and I picked him up he was calm. The tears dried up and the shaking ceased. He was still in my arms as I carried him back to the table. When I got back to the booth and resumed conversation with our friends we got asked these questions:

"Are you guys nervous about moving?"

No way! I'm so excited!

"Are you sad to be leaving people or are you just like oh-my-gosh-it's-coming-so-fast-I'm-not-ready-for-this?"

I'm not so much sad as I am scared and angry to be leaving these people and our church. I don't think anyone quite understands how mad I am that I can't just pick up SAF and bring the entire church body with us to Fort Worth. The changing process is one I'm kicking and screaming through when it comes to changing churches. I guess I've always known I can't live and die at SAF but I'm not ready to say good-bye to the church I've called home for so long and friends who have impacted me greatly.  Our last Sunday is in 2 days and as I'm typing that tears are welling up in my eyes. Kaleb might have to drag me out kicking and screaming after service ends.

But it's change and while I fight the initial process I know that God is carrying my family safely to the next one. In His arms all crying stops and shaking ceases as I trust him to carry us to the next chapter of the place we will get spiritually fed. I can't say that I'm not scared, I'm terrified! But He's a good God and He knows the plans He has for us even when we stand there, shaking and unsure. 5 years ago He was faithful to provide me, even as a new Christian, with a church that helped me grow and He is faithful to do it again.

He is faithful to do it again.

Well, to start off, the house hunting was a total flop. We had our hearts set on a house in general but one impaticular that we were excited about dragged us around for a couple of weeks and then finally told us it had been leased. Other then that we just weren't having any luck. I thought this had to do with the fact that searching online for a house is hard but now I see that it was the Lord leading us in a different direction. Of course, as usual, I had my heart set on a house so bad that I didn't even stop to consider if the Lord would open up a different door for us. Pun totally intended right there. I had been wondering for a while if an apartment would be the way to go. I can't stand apartment life so I just figured that was a no but then Kaleb and I talked over the benefits. We would only have to sign a 6 month lease and then maybe could look into buying a home instead of renting one once it was up, utilities are lower, they're easier to find, and we could move in sooner.

So, to make a long story short we are moving into this cute little 2 story town home on June 7th! That is SOON, people. 3 weeks and we're out of here. We were in Fort Worth for a 2 day visit and we found this town home, filled out applications, and put the deposit down. It's a good feeling to have this part squared away. Kaleb also had lunch with his new boss while we were in town and is really excited about starting his new job as soon as we move. Things are falling into place at the exact time God ordained for them to and I'm so grateful. There's so much to do in such a short time that I found myself standing, frozen in the kitchen after Kaleb left for work this morning wondering what I should do first. As any motivated person would I decided to fold laundry and watch Call The Midwife. Which was quickly interrupted when Elijah decided to fall, bust his lip, and cause me to have a heart attack and rush him to the ER. No worries, no worries. He's completely fine. His frenulum was lacerated in the fall but the doctor said it will heal on his own and to just give him Tylenol for the pain.

There you have it, friends! The Hargrove's will be moving June 7th to Fort Worth. I am so excited and sad at the same time but we will be back for Caleb and Kaitlin's wedding on the 20th and I will definitely be having Elijah's first birthday party here in San Angelo so we will be back to visit and will not lose touch with the amazing friends God has blessed us with here.


"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens......a time to plant and a time to uproot" 

I'm going to go find a corner to sob in for a while. I literally have no words for this 10 months business. Who told him it was ok to be 10 months already?!?! UGH!

• 21 lbs (we haven't been to the dr so this is a guess)
• 27 inches (again, a guess)
• Eating 3 solid meals a day and still BF in between
• Trying to stand without help. He usually makes it 15-30 seconds before falling
• Only waking once at night and taking 3 short naps during the day
• Growls. (Yes. You read that right. He growls.)
• Shakes his head no when you say the word
• Claps his hands
• Says mama, dada, buh buh (bye bye)
• Pushes his walking toy but falls after a while
• Wearing 12m clothes and a few 18m shirts
• Sits in a big boy carseat but is still rear facing (check out these statistics)
• Loves for us to chase him down the hallway or into the kitchen

I still have the picture on my phone of the word pregnant flashing across that stick. I sent it to Sarah the night I found out. I also called her 3 weeks later from the bathroom when I started bleeding, tears running wild as she prayed over my unborn babys life through the phone. I was deathly afraid as we rushed to the ER and they ran tests, poked me, prodded, filled my bladder with fluid so they could see if anything still existed. And he did. A heartbeat came across the screen and I was sure it was mine but the look of relief on the doctors face told me otherwise. An hour later it was confirmed: pregnant. I was sure I was going to lose that baby but God had other plans. He made me a mom that day. And I've realized how truly terrifying it is to be one but what a blessing it is at the same time. Some nights I lay awake wondering why it's been 4 hours and I haven't heard Elijah make a sound. I can still remember, vividly, sticking my finger under his nose as the swing helped him dream when he was only a couple of weeks old, checking to see if he was breathing. I hear about children passing away at young ages and wonder if my family will be a part of that statistic one day.

Motherhood, in any form, isn't easy. It's so very, very scary. It's beautiful for sure but goodness is it scary. It's full of the unknown and most days I'm walking blind and navigating a path only by what feels right rather than seeing the end result in sight. I want so badly to learn more about the Lord's heart that I completely miss how much He's revealing Himself to me through this intense love I have for Elijah. This love that causes me to be fearful for his life but at the same time causes me to squeeze him so tight because no hug is ever big enough and no tickle session ever lasts long enough. The scary part of motherhood isn't talked about very often. I'm not sure if it's because people think it feels too depressing or negative but I rarely hear it discussed. My sweet friend, Aimee, gave me a pregnancy kit when I first found out there was life growing inside of me. She was amazing! She gave me books, food, and ginger beer (which was so gross just FYI). With each item I pulled out of the box she had placed a sticky note with what it was for and then I found a card. She told me in this card that this journey would be scary. She warned me with sweet words and I love her so much for that because she also told me how rewarding it would be. I appreciate when experienced mama's share their truest heart with me and their honest wisdom. Aimee was so right!


These last 10 months have been so incredibly fun, hilarious, scary, emotional, overwhelming, amazing,...and any other word you could probably think of. All of it. It has been all of the above every moment of every day since my sweet boy came into my life. One of my absolute favorite things about motherhood is how Elijah makes me feel. His laughter causes an uncontrolable laugh of my own to rise from deep within my belly. And when he takes both hands off the coffee table and stands for 15 seconds by himself, I ugly cry all over the place. It's insane. This love I have for him is INSANE. I find myself making up weird songs and strange noises to distract him while I change his diaper. Or tearing up just a little when he hits head and his face turns red from tears and anger. I've never felt anything like this and I count myself lucky that I get to have it. I never want to take his life for granted. Never.

Thank you, Elijah, for making me a mom and teaching me what it's all about. Thank you for showing me daily how amazing this journey is. Words can't describe how deeply you are loved. I can't imagine why the Lord would entrust your life to me but I'm going to do this right! I promise! And on the days I fall short, please forgive me and thank you in advance for cutting me some slack. I'm sure you won't even notice the things I consider mistakes but thank you anyway for showing me grace, little one. I love you. I love you. I LOVE YOU!

I'm not quite sure if anyone still calls it that but when I attended Crowley High School years ago that's what we called our neighbor town, B-town aka Burleson. That's right folks we're moving to Burleson. Or maybe we're moving to Fort Worth. Either way Kaleb has a job waiting for him in Burleson!!!!! There was a series of events in this application process ranging from "There are no more positions available in Fort Worth" to "Would you be willing to move to Austin?" It was enough to drive me crazy and I'm sure Kaleb was going a little mad himself. I have made my life public through this blog (which doesn't bother me one bit) so I would love to share the story with all of you about how this all unfolded.

Sunday morning I called Charlotte to see how her birthday went. We chatted for a while about her weekend, birthday, friends, etc. Then I decided to update her on everything. I told her the lady Kaleb had been in contact with had told him there were no positions available in Fort Worth but that she was looking into one in Austin for us. However, Kaleb's boss had been emailing back and forth with a DSM in Fort Worth who was looking for a new lead to help kick start the Sam's Club that was being relocated from Fort Worth to Burleson. It wasn't the supervisor position Kaleb had been praying for but it was a pay increase and a stepping stone into something bigger. I told Charlotte I wasn't sure if the pay increase was significant enough to allow us to be steady there but that I would hate for Kaleb to miss out on such a great opportunity. He would be learning how to work from the ground up and would get first dibs on any opening supervisor positions that would become available in the near future. Charlotte paused and declared she had a pretty good idea. But first let me brief you on my sisters living situations.

Charlotte's roommate decided to sell his house back in February so within a months time she had to find a place to live. Her boss and his family graciously opened their home to her and that's where she has been living for the last couple of months. You can imagine how awkward this is but it was her only place to go. So, Charlotte suggested she move in with us for a while in order to help us get grounded in Fort Worth and to allow her to save up money for her own place. Kaleb and I thoroughly enjoy being around Charlotte so this was an automatic yes but only if Kaleb got the job. He had emailed the DSM a week ago about details for the job but hadn't heard anything back so we weren't exactly holding our breath. After hanging up the phone I talked to God about it for quite a while. When Kaleb got off work we went for a walk around the park and let Elijah swing while we went over what exactly would need to be done if this worked out. Getting a 3 bedroom house, splitting all of the bills with Charlotte, nailing down a move date that would work for all of us, etc.

After dinner and Elijahs bath we sat down to relax for a bit before putting him to bed. I was texting someone, Elijah was playing, and Kaleb was checking his emails. He started getting a little over excited and read aloud an email to me that he had just opened. Tears filled to the brims, I jumped on the couch to hug Kaleb. He got the job! The DSM had told him he wanted him out there to help with the set up ASAP. It all lined up at just the right time and there it was-the answer to our prayers and even prayers of some of our friends who had been supporting us through this process. First thing I did was call my mom who cried, of course. And now you know where I get all of my crazy emotions from. Then Charlotte who was literally screaming through the phone at how excited she was. We immediately jumped on the computer and started searching Trulia and Zillow to find some houses for rent and in our price range. We have found a couple we like and one specifically that is in Crowley. The grand opening of the relocated club is July 10th but we are moving there on June 21st.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to those of you who fought in prayer for us and I am thanking God for moving at the right time. I'm not good at waiting on the Lord, y'all. I'm really impatient to the point where I stress myself out and get down right angry at the unknown but He is always teaching me. Always. Even when it drives me nuts and I want to sit in the corner and pout like a 5 year old, still He teaches. I am sad to leave the people we love here in San Angelo and particularly sad about leaving our amazing church but I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us in Fort Worth.

It's Friday but Sunday is coming.
It's dark but soon there will be light.
It's confusing but peace is coming.
It's winter but spring is coming.
It's hard now but soon this will come to pass.
It's quiet but rejoicing will begin soon. 
There is brokenness but restoration is coming. 

He's on the cross but He will rise!

I haven't been reflecting on Holy Week as much as I should at all. I have been stressing with Kaleb over the countless phone calls and emails he has been making/sending just trying to get one of these supervisor positions that I haven't really given any thought to this day. But alas it is here and I'm here trying to figure out how to explain Good Friday to a 9 month old who can't really understand very much when in reality he can understand more than I give him credit for. He senses tones and cries when I tell him no and smiles when I laugh with him. Then this came in the mail for him today from his great grandparents

But He will rise! 

Oh my sweet guy! He is just too big for words anymore. I have to stop most days and just breathe because of how stinking huge he looks. He's still my baby but he's turning into my big baby and sooner than I'd like he'll be a toddler. This is so heartbreaking. At 9 months:

•  21 lbs 5 oz
• 27 inches long
• Loves yogurt melts (I make them myself) and still pasta is his favorite
• Teaching him how to drink out of a sippy cup (pretty entertaining)
• Cloth diapered full time! But sometimes I'm lazy and don't stuff the pockets right away.
• He pulls himself up and "cruises" while holding onto the furniture
• Waves and says "bu-bu" 
• Says dada 
• Opens and closes his fist as if trying to say hi
• He yells when I take things out of his mouth or away from him
• He also likes to having yelling matches with us. Its so cute!
• 8 teeth! His top 2 on the right side overlap each other. It's pretty adorable.
• Still BF and on his Nexium (hoping to get him taken off of it soon)
• He "dances" when Kaleb and I bounce up down in front of him