The Hargrove Home

I have started this blog probably 100 times in my head but this is the first time I've sat down to really type it out. These key strokes don't seem to be doing my thoughts justice. I can't really blog about what the Lord did for me at the SAF women's retreat last weekend. I will share it with anyone who asks of course but the internet is not allowed to know the sweet markings left on my heart after I walked away from Miller Ranch last Sunday. I just wanted to blog about the retreat as a whole. GUYS. It. Was. Gorg. Miller Ranch in general is very pretty but the Women's Ministry team made it even more beautiful with the prints beautifully framed, the sweet decorated paper straws, and the pumpkin center pieces outside on the tables. It was all in the details, y'all. And to top it off with the sweetest cherry you could tell from the minute you stepped inside that these ladies didn't play around when it came to praying over this retreat. All of the details placed for beauty and all of the prayers said for restoration.

There is a stirring in the Hargrove home this morning. As Malachi (one of the sweet toddlers I watch) is resting into her morning nap my heart is stirring. I can't explain the stirring other then I'm still basking in this past weekend. I don't want to explain everything here but the things I took away from this weekend:

1-I try too hard to please people. I have GOT to stop that. My King has an amazing plan already in motion. I need to sit back and enjoy the ride and stop seeking others approval for the decisions I make.

2-I am not quite healed. 2 specific things from my past I have faked healing over so much that I've tricked myself into believing I am completely whole. I am broken and that's ok. I know God is working on me and I am not required to be a finished product yet.

3-If that's my heart desire then chances are God himself has something to do with it.

4-I am loved. I am cherished by my husband. He seriously adores me and I have no idea why it took me this long to truly see that.

5-The Lord is PLEASED with me. He's not disappointed. He is proud!

6-I have an incredible support system. When I begin to think no body has my back (besides God and Kaleb) I need to look at both of my families and even my amazing church family. Seriously. Incredible support system!

7-I need to sing more with abandonment. Completely.

Life is so crazy right now. I keep telling people that but I'm definitely not being dramatic-it is seriously crazy. I try and avoid looking at my calendar on my phone because it's packed with weekend plans and XA activities. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe underneath all of God's goodness that He has poured out in my life. Getting to be a part of this team is overwhelming me more this year than it did last year. At the leadership retreat I went to this week I could feel the plans and activities suffocating me again. As we went over schedules, life group nights, and XA Monday nights I could feel myself gasping for a breath or two. Enough to get me through this year.

Why do I feel this way Lord? I am so excited to walk alongside You and do work with You, why do I feel overwhelmed? He didn't answer but simply showed me something at HEB camp that needed no words...at first.