Elijah and Easter

7:06 PM

I cannot lie. I was a bit sour today. As I watched my news feed fill with Easter basket pictures last night I went to bed thinking today would be hard and it was. In no way do I want to sound selfish or like I don't know the true meaning of Easter but seeing sweet little babies running around, desperately trying to fill their baskets with the most eggs made me so sad. I made Kaleb take me home the minute the Easter egg hunt started. I was a little down you could say. Trust me, I know Elijah is still cooking and he has a lot more developing to do which he can only do inside of my womb but I still can't seem to shake this ache. This constant longing for him to be in my arms instead of my tummy.

Something I keep telling Kaleb is that I don't understand why it takes 9 months. Why is pregnancy 9 months long? Why couldn't it be 6 months or even shorter? And then, like always, God shows up to answer my questions.

After Kaleb left for work I decided to call my parents and see how their Easter went. I talked to my dad for a while and lately any time we talk he makes it a point to tell me how many days he's been drug free since this is a new development (I know I said I would explain what has been going on in my family and I still might but right now I'm not ready to type that blog). He is now on day 70 of his outpatient rehab after being addicted to prescription drugs for 12 years. There it was. That nagging why again. Why did it take my dad 12 years to finally get help? Why has he survived this when so many others have died so young because of their addictions? And while I'm on it...why did it take you 3 days to rise, Jesus?

Why? Why? Why?

And then He immediately turns my heart to Ecc. 3. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens..." And what He keeps bringing me back to this Easter is that He did what He said He would-He rose. He said He would and He did. He does what He says, friends. Those promises you're waiting on to be fulfilled, they will but I can't give you reason behind the timing.

And that's all the answer I need. I can look back over the past (almost) 5 years of being saved and recall where God's perfect timing has played out beautifully in my walk but I didn't notice it until the aftermath. When Elijah is in my arms I'll see God's timing unfolding once again. I don't have to understand why, I just have to trust Him. And trust Him I will.

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